Every Wednesday morning, Bleh feigns resistance as two of her giggly colleague pals drag her to the community bathroom to weigh in. There's a big ta-do of "OMG! I gained 2 pounds!" "Oh no, this scale is awful!" and "I totally ate too much last night!"
A chorus of middle-aged ninnies obnoxiously blathering on about their weight so EVERYONE within a 2-mile radius can hear.
Gods. I'd give 2 lbs of my own flesh if they'd just shut up.
Bleh's been chatting up the Cleaning Lady for 20 minutes now. Yes, the same person Bleh told me to "call her" to get her out of talking to. Of course, I'm typing this and not calling. Mostly because I don't give a sh*t, but also because Bleh started the conversation! No pity from me.
Bleh's gushing over a cake that the Cleaning Lady brought into the office for everyone today. Of course, Bleh isn't eating any (and has loudly told everyone so) because she's on a diet. Oh, right...the "diet"... And yes, Bleh worked in multiple mentions of her chickens, her farm, and how she accidentally let a tractor battery fall over in the trunk of her car this week. Now battery acid is eating away the carpeting in the trunk of her pretentious car.
Can you tell I've got a short fuse today? One more farm story and I will f*cking scream.
Bleh's on the phone with someone discussing her son. Apparently he got mad at someone at school or got into a fight and is in trouble...? Of course, Bleh has no problem having this personal conversation loudly and publicly. Supposedly he won't be suspended for whatever he did, but he is in trouble. Hmmm. If Bleh was my mother, I'd be an angry kid, too.
UPDATES:
Bleh gave up on blogging about her weight. She couldn't get it. Go figure. However, she's still wearing pants with wedgies and bending at the waist whenever she needs to pick something up. Oy.
The soiree at her cave got moved to another date. I have another committment, so I can't go. I will ask others who do go to let me know if anything bizarre happens.
Bleh and her co-dieting, co-exercising colleague are blogging about their weight-loss exploits. I don't know where her blog is located but if I find out, I'll post the URL here.
Bleh and her pal, whose fake name I don't remember, are still on their 'diets' and are weighing in on the scale in the bathroom. Do they do this quietly or in a dignified manner? Hell no. Squeals, giggles, and pronouncements of weight loss/gain are par for the course.
I wonder what would happen were the scale to mysteriously disappear...? Eh, it wouldn't matter. Bleh still won't buy pants that don't cleave her ass in half, regardless of how many pounds she may lose.
Bleh and two of her comrades-in-banality are having a weight loss contest amongst themselves. Every week, they all pile into the little bathroom just off the office and giggle, take off their shoes and weigh themselves on the scale some masochist brought in years ago. I have no idea if they've actually lost or gained any weight, nor do I care, but I can report that Bleh's pants fit just as poorly as they always do: camel-toe up front, wedgie up the back.
Ouch.
