"Good" Parenting

So....Had a little chat today with someone who works in the other department Bleh is squatting in until our colleague returns from sabbatical. Turns out this person can't stand Bleh's drama-magnet  shenanigans either! (Who knew!?)

Turns out The Daughter, aka Mini-Bleh, has full-blown depression and is suicidal. She's dropped out of school and now apparently follows Bleh around the office: to the printer, to the bathroom, to the water cooler. Oh boy...

It gets worse. The Daughter is having to sleep BETWEEN HER PARENTS in their bed because she's on suicide watch or something! OMG and eww! Of course, we know this because Bleh can't keep her trap shut to save her life; if something's gonna get her attention, she'll say/do it.

Now, my heart goes out to this poor child. It's obvious that 18 years of smothering and  helicoptering by the two most insane and self-absorbed parents on the planet has finally taken its toll on her mental well-being; however, I think she can still be saved. If she moves out, gets some meds and therapy, and doesn't see her whacked mommie and daddy for a few years, she can probably overcome the snow job they've done on her. It'll be tough though --- especially since the kid has no money and thinks her parents are her best fwends.

Geez...Mini-Bleh is 18 so I can't call CPS. I guess I'll just have to hope for the best? Don't know what else to do.

Mono.

Bleh's kid has mono. So what's the smart thing to do? Take him home after the doctor visit and put him to bed? Nope! Bring the sick kid to the office to spread the germs around! Thanks, Bleh! Thanks a whole f**cking lot!

Widdle Baby Boy Needs Some Sweep...

Bleh emailed us to say she'd be late this morning because she wanted her son to be able to sleep in before his last final exam today.

Uh, okay...? How does that make Bleh late for work?

Oh, right...The Husband is completely helpless, so obviously he can't take the kid to school. What a weird family. And yet again, they have an impact upon my workplace. Sheesh.

I almost forgot

I almost forgot to post about this, the latest incident of questionable behavior regarding Bleh's kids!

Last week sometime, Mini-Bleh was apparently slicing some vegetables on a mandoline and sliced off a part of her palm, ironically right after Bleh told her to use caution. So, there was a lot of blood. So much blood, according to Bleh, the bleeding wouldn't stop and she and The Husband wondered whether or not to take Mini-Bleh to the ER.

Of course, since they live in the middle of nowhere, they decided against taking their bleeding child to get help because, get this, she just so happened to have a doctor's appointment scheduled for the very next morning at 11! Really, why get help now, when you can wait 15 hours?

Why this child stays with parents such as this, I will never know. Oh, and she's fine, by the way.

Eye-roll Number 345

Long time readers know that Bleh and her daughter, Mini-Bleh, are attached at the hip, because they have an exceptionally healthy and non-dependent relationship.

Well, Mini-Bleh is off to Grandma's house and lost her cell phone. She found a phone to call her mother here at the office to tell her she lost said phone and now Bleh is off to mail her cell phone to Mini-Bleh so she can "be in contact with her at all times." (Yes, actual quote from Bleh.)

I guess Grandma has no phone? I guess Bleh can't let her kid go for more than 24 hours? I guess I get to hear all about it now, especially since Mini-Bleh will have her damned phone. Gawd! Even when the kid is in another state, she's here at the f*ckin' office.

Marriage Advice

Bleh's giving one of the interns marriage advice(!). She told the kid not to have children until 3 years into a marriage, because "it changes the whole dynamic" of said marriage. Yep, Bleh the marriage pro. Heh!

Hmmm. I think Bleh would have turned out to be a poor parent regardless of how long she and The Husband waited. See parenting -related posts for examples. Have some tissue ready; you may cry.'

Oh, and it's chocolate time again. Bleh brought a box of chocolates her son is supposed to be selling for school. Since they live next to no one, I guess Bleh thinks her colleagues can buy this sh*t instead.

Just hold on...the week is almost over...

Reader Question:

"Just curious, is the daughter a mini-bleh? At least she seems to want to be punctual, but on the other hand there is the gabbing. Does she do any work? Does she wear normal clothes or bleh-clothes? Is she obnoxious in her own right? And what in the world do the two talk about so much?"

She's somewhat a mini-Bleh. (I think we'll call her that from now-on, especially since she's now technically a coworker.) I guess she works, she's in the department next door (which just makes it too easy for her to wander over here IMHO). I don't really know. I saw her cleaning shelves yesterday, so they've got her doing something. She wears normal-looking teenager clothes. Her laugh is pretty obnoxious; it's rather like a throaty machine-gun fire. As for what Bleh and her spawn talk about, it varies. Mini-Bleh has been in here 5 times today. Mostly it's banal stuff, but the most recent had something to do with the Beatles. Oh gods, Bleh even 'sang' a bit of one of their songs. Oh, now Mini-Bleh is back --- WTF?

Fortunately, there's a happy hour in my future this evening. Unfortunately, it's a work happy hour and Bleh (and most likely mini-Bleh will too) be there. Forty hours/week is more than enough Bleh for me, I can't promise to enjoy myself. Hopefully a few drinks will make her melt into the wallpaper. I promise not to punch her.

Family Ties

You all know how much of a helicopter parent Bleh is, right? Well, turns out she's gotten her daughter an internship here, starting this summer. Yes, Bleh and her Bleh-spawn will both be working here.

I know, WTF, right??!! Geez...

Let's bring the sick kid to work!

Bleh came in a couple hours late because she wasn't feeling well this morning. Fine. Whatever. What's not cool is she brought in her kid, who had bronchitis last week. (They're off school today because of the holiday). So now there's two gross coughing people sitting a mere 15 feet away, hacking, spitting, and, of course, chitchatting with each other (cuz Mommy and Daughter are like, BFF! OMG!)

Sigh. I was hoping to have a quiet Monday. Looks like that ain't happening. If I get bronchitis, I'm gonna smack that woman!

UPDATE: "Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! I'm trying to be inconspicuous, but it's impossible for me!" -- Bleh.

The kid

Bleh brought her daughter to work today. I guess the local schools are out for the holidays?? Dunno. Regardless, the kid is here, and yapping, whispering, and general disruptions are my treat today. Oh. Joy.

I wish the Supervisor would say/do something, but she doesn't seem to notice that the kid is even here. This is not a daycare. Unfortunately I can't say anything because then there will be a big blow-up of "Why can't my daughter be here? She's not hurting anyone! Whine whine whine!" and no one to back me up. Why do I have to be the bad guy? I'm not the one disturbing the office.

Bleh really does think she deserves special privileges. And since there is no god, she gets them.

Mother of the Year

Bleh chit-chats with colleagues until 8:30 or so, then says, "Gee! It's my day to make the office coffee!" (And you wonder why I go next door to pay for coffee...) Then she returns to her desk to make a bunch of calls about her kid, who apparently passed out this morning. The Husband has been calling because he's at the pharmacy and is mad and confused. Meanwhile, Bleh has been calling someone else in the office to tell her about some medication the kid is on while fielding multiple calls from The Husband.

So her desk phone AND cell have been buzzing all morning. Finally, Bleh calls the pediatric nurse and tells her what happened and says the kid is probably just fine and has passed out before. The Nurse apparently tells Bleh to take the kid to the ER. (Um, probably something that they should have done in the first place.) Bleh said no, she "wasn't going to do that," and that she'll wait to get an appointment with the pediatrician.

Wow. I am sooooo glad Bleh and The Husband aren't my parents. I'd of been dead long ago.

UPDATE: Now Bleh is telling everyone her kid had a mild seizure this morning! WTF?! Why on earth is she here at the office instead of with her kid at the hospital? Oh, right, because if she were there, no one here would be paying attention to her. I am so saddened by this.

She's baaaaaack...

Well, the first twelve minutes of work were great. No Bleh.

Then she arrived. She's still on the other end of the building, but I can hear her cracking voice yapping about how hard it was to drop off Little Whiny (a.k.a. her daughter) at ballet camp this weekend. Oh boohoo. It seems today many parents have this bizarre drive to be bestest pals with their kids or something. It's weird. Back in my day, most mothers I knew were happy to drop their kids off at camp or whatever for a couple weeks just to get some peace and quiet and give little Timmy or Tammy a chance to learn to handle life on their own.

Uh-oh, here she comes. Please please please god, don't let her tell me about her stay at the Ambassador. [Covering ears, humming loudly...]