Oh the mess...

As long-time readers know, Bleh is a crier. She cries when she's been wronged, when she's overwhelmed, when she's tired, when she's not getting her way, and definitely when she's deseperate.

The Head Honcho is retiring next month. With that knowledge, Bleh went to her this summer, cried about how she was worried about her job, and got herself temporarily PROMOTED to Department Head of a department whose Head went on sabbatical this Autumn! AND she got herself a raise in the process!

So what does Bleh do after brown-nosing her way to new heights due to having a sucker for a boss? Bleh complains. That's right, she f***king COMPLAINS about all the work she now has to do.

Um, excuse me,  Bleh, but you got a new title (that you did nothing to deserve!) and a chunk of change to do this new work, so STFU. The rest of us have taken on the burden of 2 or 3 new duties because of severe budget cuts and none of us got promotions or raises of any kind. We didn't even get a thank you; instead we did it because we want to keep our jobs in this sh*tty economy.

Wow. Give Bleh special treatment, give her everything she wants, and the crying continues. I can't roll my eyes back in my head far enough to display just how much of a baby she is. Seriously!

I'll be glad when she's thrown off her perch in January and her precious title and raise go away. Maybe she'll learn a little humility?

Nah, this is Bleh we're talking about. Humility isn't in her vocabulary.

P.S. She actually told everyone she was applying for another job in the next town over. I don't think she got it, though. She's still here.

"Whah whah whah...my other job isn't paying me enough...

...so I'm gonna call people at my desk and bitch and moan about it while I'm working here at THIS job." -- Bleh

For the love of all that is good and holy, SHUT UP Bleh! Nobody here cares about your 2nd job and its problems. We especially don't care because you're supposed to be working here, not talking about job #2. Maybe you should quit this job and go work your other job and annoy those people instead!
AHHH!

Let's talk about money

Let's talk about money. Loudly. In the middle of the office with our coworker.

Bleh, and her pal (who we'll call Milder Bleh), are standing about 10 feet from me, holding their coffees and chatting about personal bank accounts, how much they paid for various cars over the years, and how they don't trust their husbands with their money so they keep separate accounts.

Again, TMI.

Another car?

After all the hullabaloo over their previous car purchases/mishaps, Bleh and The Husband are test-driving a car this afternoon. Apparently it's time for yet another large purchase. Hmmm... a new car, a boat, and now another car... And yes, it took 3 phone calls to get the test-drive set up because as we all know, The Husband is incapable of dialing anyone on the phone, save for his wife at the office. [Eyeroll.]

So, I'm sure you've all been wondering, where is The Daughter? She's back at ballerina camp. I didn't even know until someone asked Bleh about it the other day. Funny, last year Bleh spent HOURS on the phone trying to get The Daughter the right ballet shoes and the right scholarship to go to the camp itself. Then MORE hours talking her daughter down from the "ledge" because the daughter was having trouble coping with the fact that she was now a small fish in a big pond. This year? Not a peep. Not that I'm complaining!

Just where is this bounty of cash coming from? Bleh hasn't mentioned that part. I wonder if they're cooking meth at their house? Maybe they're renting out their other kid for manual labor?

One more day and she's gone for two glorious weeks...

Saved by Zero

Bleh casually strolled in at 8:23 today. She then sat down at her desk and made a personal call to find out her "lab results." Apparently she got a message at home about them, but of course, waited until she got to work to return the call. I'm guessing her results either aren't in, or she's not dying, because she made no dramatic announcements, she merely left to get coffee.

It's now 8:34 and she's finally sitting at her desk. I assume she's working, but I'm not sure. She has obviously distracted me.* Ahhh!

Boat news: as of yesterday, the boat purchase is still on. The Husband has supposedly found a used one in Florida and wants to buy it and haul it back here. To his farm. In the middle of nowhere. Where there are no bodies of water. (Note: we are not located within a one-day drive of FL) Check it! Bleh-logic is in full-effect: they're buying a boat instead of paying for childcare, they're going to haul it 100s and 100s of miles despite how much they complain about the cost of gas. (Remember, these are the same folks who won't come into town on weekends because they don't want to use gas.)

Sigh.

*I am fully aware of the irony of my tracking the every move of someone who drives me nuts. Look, you work with Bleh for more than a week, and I swear, you'll start going crazy too. And if you don't do anything about it, you'll suffer even more. Besides, you have to admit, I'm fairly good at fulfilling your schadenfreude quota for the week.

Sailing takes me away...

...if only.

Bleh has announced The Husband is buying a boat. I don't give a rat's ass what they do with their money, I just don't want to hear about it (or the consequences thereof). I'm sure we'll be hearing about how they can't afford braces for the kids or dance camp or something later this summer. I feel bad for those kids, I really do.

Oh, and speaking of the kids, they've been here in the office every day the past week. Bleh can't afford a babysitter, but she and The Husband managed to score a boat. Logic is so entertaining in their world.

It's 11:11 am: what to do?

Why, take a phone call from the boss of your second job on your cell phone, that's what!

In other Bleh news -- she's been showing everyone a picture of her daughter all morning. Apparently a friend snapped a blurry pic of The Daughter wearing the infamous $300 ballet tutu*. I think I've sat through about 5 different show-n-tell sessions of this photo this morning. Any more and I may have to vomit.

*Apparently this thing cost several hundred dollars, none of which The Husband would pay for. It's no surprise. We know where his money goes. And yes, she brought the tutu to the office to show everyone. It's that important.

Ten Dollars

Bleh is trying to get medical records or something for her daughter. They (whoever "they" are) want ten bucks for a copy of the records and the fax. Bleh, of course, balked at this since she apparently already had said records sent in and doesn't want to pay again.

Okay, fine.

No, not really.

Bleh is now leaving the world's LONGEST voicemail to the school nurse saying she's not paying the ten dollars to have the forms sent again. Oh, now she's mentioning the ten dollars again. Oh! One more time. And... a "good bye" and a fourth mention of the $10 just for good measure.

Can this woman be any cheaper?

Everybody's working for the weekend...

...except Bleh. She got a call from her other job's boss today, letting her know there was some work available, but not a lot. Bleh said, "I need the money so bad, I'll take whatever you've got."

Guess that new TV is not so fun now, eh? At least her husband can kick back and enjoy it. He only has one job to worry about.

Personal finance skills. What personal finance skills?

Remember how Bleh and The Husband couldn't afford to send their daughter to ballet camp this summer and they went on and on about getting her a scholarship to pay for it?

Well, turns out they just bought themselves a brand new flat screen plasma tv. Wow, what a fuck-you to the kid!

A cabin?

Remember how I've mentioned Bleh's constant moaning about not having enough money to do certain things, like send her daughter to ballet camp (hence the zillion calls about scholarship money and ballet shoes)? Well, I spoke to another colleague who owns a cabin and she told me Bleh told her that Bleh and The Husband are planning to buy a cabin! Wow, they can't afford summer camp, but they can buy a cabin? What a fantastical universe those people live in!

I told colleague that she better hope she doesn't end up neighbors with Bleh. It's bad enough having to be next to her craziness for 8 hours a day.

Some news is not good news

Well it turns out Bleh isn't going anywhere. At least not to another office, anyway. Sigh. I overheard her talking to the Supervisor this morning about scheduling her 2-week vacation next summer. Sure, it'll be great to get 2 weeks off from her, but damn, I was kinda hoping she would just get another job. Guess no one else would hire her.

Also, school's back in session, so she came in 20 minutes late this morning (her usual fall and spring schedule). It turns out The Husband chose to teach a late class Tues-Thurs this semester, so he can't take the daughter to ballet. (He doesn't have to do anything, it seems. Just be a pampered baby.) To accommodate her daughter, Bleh's worked up a funky schedule so she can take off work to schlep said kid to dance twice a week. Oh, and--get this!--she told the Sup that she will be in about 20 minutes late every morning from now on because of getting her kids to school. Why get up earlier when you can just be late to work?

Gee, how thoughtful of you to let us know, Bleh. You reproduced and now you get special work hours?! You get to come in late every day?! You're gonna work through lunch and leave early? On a weekly basis?! Geez! I have nothing against working mothers, but Bleh is really terrible at managing her personal life. And here, she gets a special pass from the Sup for it. WTF?

Whuh?

Bleh actually took her cell phone outside to talk to someone. Yes, I know! A first! Apparently she was talking to her pharmacist but she walked out before I could hear more. So, folks, sorry, but I don't have a recap for you. I can only guess at what she was discussing. It's so weird not to know because she's openly yapping on the phone all day.

I can tell you she talked to The Husband earlier about how they're going to make car payments until September or something. Voices were raised, but no actual yelling occured. Again, if you can't afford something, don't buy it. It's called logic.

Let's Call the Doctor

Bleh's child apparently needs a medical opinion. So after arriving at 8:17am (look, she's getting earlier!?) and taking 15 minutes to "get coffee," Bleh is on the phone scheduling a doctor's apointment for Little Bleh. And on the phone... And on the phone... And still on the phone... Okay the appointment is set.

Whew! That was close! Any sooner and she would have done actual work before 8:30am.

Money

Yet another thing Bleh does quite often is talk about how she can't afford certain things. No, not like Hermes scarves or Cadillac Escalades. No, she openly talks about how she can't afford to take her kids to the doctor (um, you have insurance), how she can't afford her car payments (then perhaps you shouldn't have purchased a brand new tricked-out hybrid?), and how she can't afford to pay for ballet camp...blah blah blah.

Look lady, a lot of us can't exactly afford certain things, but at least we don't moan about it CONSTANTLY. Shut up, figure out a budget, and quit doing stupid things with your money!

Student Loans

Today I got to hear about Bleh's student loans. Apparently she pays $189/month for hers and some other amount for The Husband's. She's somehow missed some payments or got the wrong amount something, hence her call to the loan company.

Is nothing sacred?

The Call about the Doctor

Bleh's husband, who we'll call The Husband, went to the doctor this morning and he dropped off their kids here at the office so Bleh could babysit. The kids got a bit restless and Bleh had to shush them a few times before threatening to take away the computer. They then quieted down.

The Husband called an hour later and the raised voices began. Bleh loudly conversed with The Husband about what to do with the kids. Apparently The Husband's doctor visit went quickly and Bleh didn't know what to do. (Seriously, she said that.) The arguing slowly quieted and the conversation dulled into mushy "honey" and "baby" and, before I could vomit, the call ended.

Twenty minutes later, The Husband shows up at the office. Great, now the whole family is here. They're going to lunch. How sweet.

Get out!