2017 Check-In

For some strange reason, this blog popped into my mind today and I logged in. It took me a minute, because I couldn't remember what email address I used for this blogger account. I finally figured it out and here I am.

I haven't actually seen Bleh in a couple years. I can't believe it's been over 3 years since I haven't had to work with her. I feel better, I sleep better, and I am not filled to bursting with annoyance and exasperation on a daily basis anymore.

Bleh's Husband still works for the same company I do, but I rarely see him (bonus!). I noticed recently that he had stopped wearing a wedding band (or had never worn one?), so I wondered if Bleh had finally divorced the bastard, but then I saw an email The Husband accidentally (?) hit "reply all" to and mentioned he and Bleh had gone on a vacation together recently. So I guess they're not divorced?

Sigh. Don't know. Don't really care.

It's funny how much Bleh affected my health and wellbeing back then. I actually like going to work now and feel pretty fulfilled. I haven't even looked at a job ad in many months. I also don't drink hard liquor nightly anymore either. That alone is a major quality of life improvement.

So, whatever Bleh's doing, or wherever she is, I'm just glad she's not here. Life goes on. Fortunately, it's going on here without her.

"Good" Parenting

So....Had a little chat today with someone who works in the other department Bleh is squatting in until our colleague returns from sabbatical. Turns out this person can't stand Bleh's drama-magnet  shenanigans either! (Who knew!?)

Turns out The Daughter, aka Mini-Bleh, has full-blown depression and is suicidal. She's dropped out of school and now apparently follows Bleh around the office: to the printer, to the bathroom, to the water cooler. Oh boy...

It gets worse. The Daughter is having to sleep BETWEEN HER PARENTS in their bed because she's on suicide watch or something! OMG and eww! Of course, we know this because Bleh can't keep her trap shut to save her life; if something's gonna get her attention, she'll say/do it.

Now, my heart goes out to this poor child. It's obvious that 18 years of smothering and  helicoptering by the two most insane and self-absorbed parents on the planet has finally taken its toll on her mental well-being; however, I think she can still be saved. If she moves out, gets some meds and therapy, and doesn't see her whacked mommie and daddy for a few years, she can probably overcome the snow job they've done on her. It'll be tough though --- especially since the kid has no money and thinks her parents are her best fwends.

Geez...Mini-Bleh is 18 so I can't call CPS. I guess I'll just have to hope for the best? Don't know what else to do.

More fake than fake

Bleh's been out of the office for two days because her 16 yr old son is sick at home.

Usually, this would not raise my eyebrow. However, it's currently a school holiday and The Husband has the days off as well. So, why isn't HE taking care of the sick kid?? Not that I want Bleh to be in the office, but dang, doesn't she realize how transparent she's being?

Doesn't The Supervisor get it? Apparently not.

Oh, the humanity. . .

The Supervisor

Over the years many readers have asked about The Supervisor and what her deal is. (Dear gods, this situation has been going on for years! I need a minute...okay, I'm back.) She avoids conflict at all costs, hence Bleh's ability to get away with just about anything*. I learned recently that the Sup did not even want to become head of my department (this happened before I started working here) and that the Head Honcho basically moved her into that position.

Great. So what I've wondered about for years has been confirmed---I've got a timid (or apathetic?) supervisor on the one hand, and a functionally crazy person spazzing all over the office spewing narcissistic drama on the other. Lucky me sits in-between them. A colleague of mine who works in another department and knows firsthand of Bleh's special brand of Teh Crazy, told me to keep a log of all the nut-job things she does so  there would be a record in case Bleh gets let go for incompetence and decides to sue when the new Head Honcho comes later this summer.

In the good news corner: I didn't catch Mono. At least I don't think I did. Also, I had a phone interview last week regarding a very promising job elsewhere. We'll see if it scores me an in-person interview...

Today's Pants Report: Yep, wedgie. How does she wear those pants all day without screaming?

*Special hours, leaving during the day for random personal reasons, in-office babysitting, texting all day, etc.

The Winter Gloom Returns

My quiet respite is over. Bleh is back from her winter vay-kay. Joy. Apparently she took her daughter out of state for the holidays, and when they boarded a plane to return home the other day, the kid's peanut allergy flared up and they had to de-board and take a later flight. While I certainly am not mocking the kid's health problems, I have had to hear about them ALL morning.

Guess what, Bleh? We don't care.

Oh, AND the daughter is here in the office today. Why? Who the frak knows. It's Bleh's world, apparently; I just suffer in it.

IN OTHER NEWS: Bleh's doing that thing again where she just talks loudly to The Supervisor and expects that to suffice as "telling" me also. Um, if someone can't have the decency to actually face me when they're supposedly speaking to me, then I don't have to "listen," do I? That extra step of making Bleh repeat herself to me is annoying yes, but more annoying to her than me.

Ah, it's the little things, isn't it?

She's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Bleh CAME BACK to the office today, after seeing her doctor because The Husband had to work this afternoon and they only have one car.

Wow, the guy won't even drive his sick wife home. Instead he makes her come to the office where she'll get us ALL sick. F*cker! And get this: she's coughing and saying she hopes her husband doesn't come down with her bronchitis! WTF? What about us? I'd punch her, but then I'd probably get her cough cooties.

Unbelievable!

Let's bring the sick kid to work!

Bleh came in a couple hours late because she wasn't feeling well this morning. Fine. Whatever. What's not cool is she brought in her kid, who had bronchitis last week. (They're off school today because of the holiday). So now there's two gross coughing people sitting a mere 15 feet away, hacking, spitting, and, of course, chitchatting with each other (cuz Mommy and Daughter are like, BFF! OMG!)

Sigh. I was hoping to have a quiet Monday. Looks like that ain't happening. If I get bronchitis, I'm gonna smack that woman!

UPDATE: "Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! I'm trying to be inconspicuous, but it's impossible for me!" -- Bleh.

I dunno

Bleh calls to make appointments, refill descriptions, and just chat quite often from her desk. Regular readers know this. What you may not know is that she's a complete idiot while she's doing it. For someone who loves to talk on the phone so much, you'd think she'd have refill numbers, account numbers, etc, ready to go when she makes a call. You'd be wrong.

Instead, she pleads ignorant to whomever was unfortunate enough to be on the other end of the line, answers a bunch of substitute questions to identify herself, or calls back.

She's on the phone right now yapping her way through setting up an eye appointment. Oh, and she can't miss her beloved lunchtime pilates class. Oh no...

Gawd. If this woman was any more of a mess, there would be a yellow caution placard next to her.

Saved by Zero

Bleh casually strolled in at 8:23 today. She then sat down at her desk and made a personal call to find out her "lab results." Apparently she got a message at home about them, but of course, waited until she got to work to return the call. I'm guessing her results either aren't in, or she's not dying, because she made no dramatic announcements, she merely left to get coffee.

It's now 8:34 and she's finally sitting at her desk. I assume she's working, but I'm not sure. She has obviously distracted me.* Ahhh!

Boat news: as of yesterday, the boat purchase is still on. The Husband has supposedly found a used one in Florida and wants to buy it and haul it back here. To his farm. In the middle of nowhere. Where there are no bodies of water. (Note: we are not located within a one-day drive of FL) Check it! Bleh-logic is in full-effect: they're buying a boat instead of paying for childcare, they're going to haul it 100s and 100s of miles despite how much they complain about the cost of gas. (Remember, these are the same folks who won't come into town on weekends because they don't want to use gas.)

Sigh.

*I am fully aware of the irony of my tracking the every move of someone who drives me nuts. Look, you work with Bleh for more than a week, and I swear, you'll start going crazy too. And if you don't do anything about it, you'll suffer even more. Besides, you have to admit, I'm fairly good at fulfilling your schadenfreude quota for the week.

I am Going to Puke

Bleh is currently standing in the doorway gushing over the sick colleague. Bleh wants to be sure that not only does Sick Colleague know she cares deeply but that everyone within hearing distance knows too. Also, Bleh made sure to tell S.C. [and the rest of us] that she herself has gone to get tested and (gasp!) has to go back to get more tests due to a 'shadow' having been found on her first round of test results.

I wish Bleh's shadow was in her mouth so she'd just shut up about herself.

A Case of the Mondays

Bleh is ill today. I don't know why she bothered even showing up. I don't want to catch whatever crud she has. Apparently she was fine this weekend...she went fishing.

I don't know what to say

Bleh has a doctor's appointment this morning (another one*) at 8:45. She told our supervisor yesterday that she'd come in at eight (she got here at :20 after) and work until she left for the appointment. So basically, she's getting paid for 20 minutes of work she wasn't present for and another 20 minutes of wandering around.

*Her third or fourth this week.

I'm gonna be sick

No, really. Bleh just went to the restroom, and did not wash her hands. How do I know? The bathroom is in our office and I heard her flush then she opened the door and walked toward the kitchenette. No squeaky faucet turn, no water noise. Nothin'.

Sure, that's kinda gross. But it gets worse.

She then served some of her Seder dish (the same one she's been yappin' about all morning and I've been writing about) WITH THE SAME TOILET HANDS she didn't just wash. Oh, god. I ate some of that Seder shit this morning myself. Now I'm having nightmare visions of her kitchen at home and how she didn't wash her hands there either.

Why, Yahweh? WHY?

I'm gonna go barf now.

UPDATE: Okay, you thought I was just being paranoid when I said Bleh didn't wash her hands after using the office bathroom. Well, she just went again and again, she did NOT wash her hands! EWW! I will never eat anything she brings to this office ever again. Ever.

Chlorine Allergies

Bleh is allergic to chlorinated water. It makes her sneeze repeatedly. Thus it is only logical that she should continue to go swimming two days a week. Even more logical that she should repeatedly complain about her reddened eyes.

Vertigo

Unfortunately, my title does not refer to the Hitchcock film, instead it refers to Bleh's current state of health. She hasn't felt well since she arrived this morning (15 minutes late, as usual). She's gone to the nurse's station (who was out today) and has repeated said she's going to go home because she doesn't feel well. We're entering hour 6 of "I'm dizzy" here at el officina. [Eyeroll.]