FIle under: Conspicious Consumption

Bleh's gotten herself a new car. A shiny red one. Sure, it's one of those ugly gas-efficient hybrid things, but her previous ugly gas-efficient hybrid thing was just fine. In fact, it was only 3 years old. Why the new car? Who knows? Apparently it's okay for Bleh to just keep buying new cars and using up fossil fuels to do it. (Almost all new cars are made of plastic and rubber, petroleum products.) Sure, she'll get good gas mileage, but a new car? Really? She and The Husband must be in some pretty hefty debt by now. A new car added to The Boat, The Plane, and The Flatscreen... must be nice.

Another car?

After all the hullabaloo over their previous car purchases/mishaps, Bleh and The Husband are test-driving a car this afternoon. Apparently it's time for yet another large purchase. Hmmm... a new car, a boat, and now another car... And yes, it took 3 phone calls to get the test-drive set up because as we all know, The Husband is incapable of dialing anyone on the phone, save for his wife at the office. [Eyeroll.]

So, I'm sure you've all been wondering, where is The Daughter? She's back at ballerina camp. I didn't even know until someone asked Bleh about it the other day. Funny, last year Bleh spent HOURS on the phone trying to get The Daughter the right ballet shoes and the right scholarship to go to the camp itself. Then MORE hours talking her daughter down from the "ledge" because the daughter was having trouble coping with the fact that she was now a small fish in a big pond. This year? Not a peep. Not that I'm complaining!

Just where is this bounty of cash coming from? Bleh hasn't mentioned that part. I wonder if they're cooking meth at their house? Maybe they're renting out their other kid for manual labor?

One more day and she's gone for two glorious weeks...

"I'm an Idiot" --- Bleh

Bleh's on the phone right now with her bank. Apparently her husband set up an auto-withdrawal for the car loan every month and didn't tell her, so when she checked her account she saw she and the bank both paid the car loan this month. Heh!

Ran out of gas

Bleh strolled in at 8:17 and stopped at another colleague's desk to tell the tale of how she ran out of gas last night. Heh! Apparently her fancy new car thinks it's out of gas if the gas gauge gets to three bars (yeah, the one replacing the one they couldn't afford either). She said she called the dealer and he told her this basic information about her car which she should have read in the manual when they bought it. She told him, "That's just stupid" (which, I admit, it is) and then called The Husband to bring her some gas.

Apparently having gas in the tank didn't help her get to work on time today.

Well look what the cat dragged in...

Bleh was here at 8:05 today! This is surely a sign of the coming apocalypse; however, I think it's really just a fluke. Wedgie Watchers will be happy to know she's wearing her most cleavage-making pants today -- the brown denim that actually lifts and separates both butt cheeks and shows her pantylines, thereby making each cheek its own mini ass. Yikes!

Bleh and The Husband bought a new hybrid last week to replace the one they lost in the accident. (Yes, they're "green;" unfortunately that doesn't make up for the stupidity they display in every other area of their lives.) Of course, he had to call her and get mad that she wasn't ready to leave the office at 3pm sharp (when he was) to go get said new car. [Best Southern accent:] Ah just looooove listen'en to them two fight on the phone. It's so romantical... Sigh. [PUKE!]

She has, of course, told each person in the office individually all about the new car. So I got to hear the story at least 3 times yesterday (I managed to put in a quiet few hours in the front office after lunch). Soon the magic will wear off and the suckitude of having made car payments on a now-totaled vehicle for the past year and a half will hit. Ouch.

The car

Bleh and her family were rear-ended at an intersection last week. The car has since been declared totaled. (Yep, the same car she complained about not being able to afford buying in the first place.) So they got a rental. Bleh was driving that car when she stopped suddenly and someone else rear-ended the rental!

Oh, they're all fine, by the way. Fine enough for Bleh to make tons of phone calls to the insurance co and the doctor's office during work hours.

Note to self: do not let Bleh within 50 ft of vehicle.

Whuh?

Bleh actually took her cell phone outside to talk to someone. Yes, I know! A first! Apparently she was talking to her pharmacist but she walked out before I could hear more. So, folks, sorry, but I don't have a recap for you. I can only guess at what she was discussing. It's so weird not to know because she's openly yapping on the phone all day.

I can tell you she talked to The Husband earlier about how they're going to make car payments until September or something. Voices were raised, but no actual yelling occured. Again, if you can't afford something, don't buy it. It's called logic.

Money

Yet another thing Bleh does quite often is talk about how she can't afford certain things. No, not like Hermes scarves or Cadillac Escalades. No, she openly talks about how she can't afford to take her kids to the doctor (um, you have insurance), how she can't afford her car payments (then perhaps you shouldn't have purchased a brand new tricked-out hybrid?), and how she can't afford to pay for ballet camp...blah blah blah.

Look lady, a lot of us can't exactly afford certain things, but at least we don't moan about it CONSTANTLY. Shut up, figure out a budget, and quit doing stupid things with your money!