FIle under: Conspicious Consumption

Bleh's gotten herself a new car. A shiny red one. Sure, it's one of those ugly gas-efficient hybrid things, but her previous ugly gas-efficient hybrid thing was just fine. In fact, it was only 3 years old. Why the new car? Who knows? Apparently it's okay for Bleh to just keep buying new cars and using up fossil fuels to do it. (Almost all new cars are made of plastic and rubber, petroleum products.) Sure, she'll get good gas mileage, but a new car? Really? She and The Husband must be in some pretty hefty debt by now. A new car added to The Boat, The Plane, and The Flatscreen... must be nice.

Where Have I Been?

Um, well, I've been working and I've reached a "happy zen place" regarding Bleh, so I'm sorry for the dearth of posts.

Please note she's still cackling, still wearing the ill-fitting wedgie'd pants, and has taken to hideous sweaters this week. As for the annoying details, I'll have to defer them until the next time I get a break and/or she does something egregious. Which probably won't be too long from now.

Thanks for your patience!

SHEEEEEEE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAACK

And just like that: my peace and quiet is over. The pants have never been more ill-fitting, the gossipy chitchat has never been more annoying, and the coffee "breaks" have never been longer.

Presently, Bleh and a colleague are talking about their daughters' ballet classes. I just put on headphones and cranked it up, so I can't give you the gory details. A possible bright spot for me: I may be in line, perhaps, for an office. An office with a door. In 18 months.

Oh, the small goals we cling to...

Oops

Apparently Bleh saved a document she had been working on for three days, then saved another document in its place, thereby erasing her original document for good. So not only did I have to hear her lament to me and everyone else in the office, but I had to hear her call people and complain to them as well. How did I get to be so lucky?

Wedgie report: high-waisted gray pants with a severe wedge. Seriously. When she moves, her butt whistles.

Who is Bleh?

My colleague, who will we call Whiny Baby Doll Voice Lady, or "Bleh", for short. She's having a personal conversation on her cell. This call has been going on for 15 minutes now... This happens daily. Multiple times every day. It's ridiculous how much time she spends at work not working.

Other things that bother me about Bleh:

• Her voice. She's 40 but she sounds like she's 12. Think Jennifer Tilly meets Melanie Griffiths. Stir.
• Her laugh. It's wimpy and insincere. There's a lot of gurgling involved.
• Her husband. He calls her, they argue, they make up. Repeat.
• Her pants. They often ride up her crack. Not pretty. She wears "mom jeans" too.
• Her kids. Her kids are actually sweet; however, the way Bleh constantly gushes on about them is not. Oh, and she brings them to the office all the time, like we're some sort of babysitting service.
• Her personality. While she can be thoughtful, she tries too hard. She often comes across as a kiss-up. It's sad to watch.

Oy. I'm sorry it's come to this. It's been a long day. (I'm currently working hour 11 of 12 today.) Bleh is not a bad person, just a really annoying one who has no clue how to behave in a professional environment. What kills me is she gets away with it and I have to watch.