"Good" Parenting

So....Had a little chat today with someone who works in the other department Bleh is squatting in until our colleague returns from sabbatical. Turns out this person can't stand Bleh's drama-magnet  shenanigans either! (Who knew!?)

Turns out The Daughter, aka Mini-Bleh, has full-blown depression and is suicidal. She's dropped out of school and now apparently follows Bleh around the office: to the printer, to the bathroom, to the water cooler. Oh boy...

It gets worse. The Daughter is having to sleep BETWEEN HER PARENTS in their bed because she's on suicide watch or something! OMG and eww! Of course, we know this because Bleh can't keep her trap shut to save her life; if something's gonna get her attention, she'll say/do it.

Now, my heart goes out to this poor child. It's obvious that 18 years of smothering and  helicoptering by the two most insane and self-absorbed parents on the planet has finally taken its toll on her mental well-being; however, I think she can still be saved. If she moves out, gets some meds and therapy, and doesn't see her whacked mommie and daddy for a few years, she can probably overcome the snow job they've done on her. It'll be tough though --- especially since the kid has no money and thinks her parents are her best fwends.

Geez...Mini-Bleh is 18 so I can't call CPS. I guess I'll just have to hope for the best? Don't know what else to do.

The Supervisor

Over the years many readers have asked about The Supervisor and what her deal is. (Dear gods, this situation has been going on for years! I need a minute...okay, I'm back.) She avoids conflict at all costs, hence Bleh's ability to get away with just about anything*. I learned recently that the Sup did not even want to become head of my department (this happened before I started working here) and that the Head Honcho basically moved her into that position.

Great. So what I've wondered about for years has been confirmed---I've got a timid (or apathetic?) supervisor on the one hand, and a functionally crazy person spazzing all over the office spewing narcissistic drama on the other. Lucky me sits in-between them. A colleague of mine who works in another department and knows firsthand of Bleh's special brand of Teh Crazy, told me to keep a log of all the nut-job things she does so  there would be a record in case Bleh gets let go for incompetence and decides to sue when the new Head Honcho comes later this summer.

In the good news corner: I didn't catch Mono. At least I don't think I did. Also, I had a phone interview last week regarding a very promising job elsewhere. We'll see if it scores me an in-person interview...

Today's Pants Report: Yep, wedgie. How does she wear those pants all day without screaming?

*Special hours, leaving during the day for random personal reasons, in-office babysitting, texting all day, etc.

Why has this gone on for so long?

Long-time readers (and perhaps newer ones as well) probably wonder why the hell I've stuck it out in this office for so long when Bleh is the kind of coworker that could drive one to the very edge of sanity and confusion? Well, there are quite a few reasons, and today I'll write about some of them.

1. "It's the economy, stupid." Yep, we're living in harsh times and jobs are scarce, especially in my field. Also, the young are not appreciated in my field, nor are they paid very much, so my current options are stay here and survive, or leave and be in the poorhouse. Bleh isn't hauling in the dough and she actually does do some work when she's not whispering loudly to her kids (who are here almost every day!) or mysteriously away from her desk.
2. Why should I have to be the one to leave? She should leave, yes. She's the one with the boat- and plane-buying husband and a second job she could work from home. No one would give a sh*t if she had her widdle-baby teenage children with her all damned day if she was in her own house. (But then again, no one would give her any attention either, so we see why she won't go anywhere that has no captive audience.)
3. I've gone through all the proper channels to try and resolve this conflict but can't get the support I need. My immediate supervisor (The Supervisor) has an aversion to conflict, so she's no help. Bleh's not going to be fired because, get this, the Powers That Be think I'm the problem! Yes, you read that correctly -- they think I'm high-maintenance because I've dared to complain about Bleh's lack of professionalism. My Supervisor's supervisor tried to give me cubicle walls to 'solve' the problem(s). When I politely declined (because honestly, that would do nothing but put me inside a cube outside of which Bleh would continue to be Bleh), the Head Honcho made fun of me with The Supervisor in front of my face. Talk about employee support! Sure, there's actually one more level of authority above Head Honcho, but at this point, I don't think I could take another round of rejection and apathy regarding my plight. I mean, seriously, if the two people who could help me won't, why would the guy two buildings over who probably doesn't even know my name help me? He's even less invested than they are.

So, The Powers That Be have decided to let Bleh run rampant and stick the shiv of fate further under my fingernails. Maybe there's some cosmic lesson about patience and love that I'm supposed to be learning by suffering this bullsh*t... maybe not.

Maybe the Universe can go f*ck itself.

That's amore... more b.s, that is

Mini-Bleh likes to skip into this office 5 or 6 times a day to see "mommie." Just now she came in with a newspaper crossword puzzle (!) and asked her mother for help on a clue!!! WTF? Obviously the kid has nothing to do in her department so she figures she can come over here all day long and bother us.

Of course her dimwitted parent isn't going to do anything about it, because to her, personal business comes before office business.

It's gonna be a long summer....

May Day

Bleh arrived with her entourage (read: her children) again this morning. She actually got here earlier than usual, only 4 minutes after eight instead of her usual 15. Almost immediately, her cell rang and she tottered off to chat. We probably won't see her again for another 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, I got here at 7:45 and have been working until now. How sad that this break is filled with reporting on Mrs Awful and her ever-present brood... Gods....I guess one of her chickens will be here all the time starting soon. (See The Internship.)

A bit of good news... Bleh is off for the rest of the week starting tomorrow! Her vewy special Mommie is in town. As you may imagine, around the office we've been informed of this very important visit for weeks. [Eye roll.]

Yeah, it's great that your mom is visiting, Bleh, I just wish you would have taken more time off, you know, and given the rest of us some time to celebrate too.

UPDATE: Bleh's kid has interrupted her (and therefore everyone else) 10 times today. That, plus the 7 personal calls has kept Bleh pretty damned busy. The Husband even swung by today to take the kids to lunch. Why didn't he take them home? Or to school? What the hell is going on?

Oh, and Bleh has wondered why I wear headphones all the time. Gee... I wonder why I would do that...?

A couple things

1. Bleh's son is here today. "Why isn't he in school?" you ask. You are a logical person. Bleh is not. Ergo, it's probably Bring Your Snotty Whiny Son to Work Day so He can Pester You and Annoy Your Colleagues or something like that. There's just nothing I love more than hearing loud whispers of "Mooooooooommmmmm!"

2. Bleh volunteered for a work function last week. Then she asked if she could get comp time for it. Um, perhaps she doesn't know the meaning of the word volunteer?

Let's bring the sick kid to work!

Bleh came in a couple hours late because she wasn't feeling well this morning. Fine. Whatever. What's not cool is she brought in her kid, who had bronchitis last week. (They're off school today because of the holiday). So now there's two gross coughing people sitting a mere 15 feet away, hacking, spitting, and, of course, chitchatting with each other (cuz Mommy and Daughter are like, BFF! OMG!)

Sigh. I was hoping to have a quiet Monday. Looks like that ain't happening. If I get bronchitis, I'm gonna smack that woman!

UPDATE: "Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! I'm trying to be inconspicuous, but it's impossible for me!" -- Bleh.

My mind's playin' tricks on me...

Okay, so the kid isn't here as a passive-aggressive move. She's here because -- get this -- she has 2 college visit days and she decided she didn't want to go to school today. Her mother is letting her skip school AND brought her here instead. Um, shouldn't the kid use the day to, oh I don't know....visit a college??!! Instead, we get more in-office babysitting here at The Office that Time Forgot.

Sheesh.

The kid

Bleh brought her daughter to work today. I guess the local schools are out for the holidays?? Dunno. Regardless, the kid is here, and yapping, whispering, and general disruptions are my treat today. Oh. Joy.

I wish the Supervisor would say/do something, but she doesn't seem to notice that the kid is even here. This is not a daycare. Unfortunately I can't say anything because then there will be a big blow-up of "Why can't my daughter be here? She's not hurting anyone! Whine whine whine!" and no one to back me up. Why do I have to be the bad guy? I'm not the one disturbing the office.

Bleh really does think she deserves special privileges. And since there is no god, she gets them.

Babysitting day

Both kids are here today. They're trying to be "quiet," but honestly, all the whispering is MORE annoying than if they'd just speak normally. Apparently The Husband is still at home (sleeping, or not making his own phone calls I suppose), and won't be about until later, hence the kids joining us at the office.

Sad fact: The Daughter's pants don't fit her well either. Like mother, like daughter...?

"Daddy's gonna be mad...."

Bleh brought the Daughter to work today because there's a day-long lecture series going on. The kid sat around playing computer games for the first couple hours of the day, then went to one of the lectures with her dad. Then lunch happened. Then I took off for one of the lectures myself, returning an hour later to find Bleh and daughter still in the office.

Huh?

It's now an hour later and Bleh has been yapping on her cell phone while the Daughter has been nagging people with questions, pacing, and trying to bully her mother into leaving for the lecture, with sing-song, "Daddy's gonna be mad..." over and over.

The kid gets to miss an entire day of school to "hear" some lectures, and I saw her supposedly leave to go to only one of them. Wow. That's some responsible parenting.

It's National Take Your Whispering Kid to Work Day

He's here. He's whispering. He wants hot cocoa. He wants the sound turned on on the computer he's using (!). He can't speak in a normal voice.

Why bring the child to the office if you and he are just going to 'pretend' like he's not there? Clearly he is. He's whispering and clacking away on a keyboard. Now he's crinkling a cellophane wrapper. Next thing you know, he'll be huffing on an inhaler or bouncing a ball on the wall.

Geez. Monday. With a kid.

Hey Everybody! It's whispering time again!

Bleh's daughter is upset about something. She's been in and out of the office all day, so has The Son. Daughter huffed off to the bathroom, then went to the water cooler when she came out. Bleh went over to her, bent down, and asked her in a loud whisper, "What's the matter?"

Whispering AND Bleh's big ass in the air. Geez, whatever did I do to deserve all this?

Now Bleh and The Daughter are leaving the office to go chat about their feelings or something. Jesus! Why aren't the kids over at The Husband's office today?

"Fax my lab results please"

Apparently Bleh got some labwork done. She's called her doctor twice this morning to find out what's going on. For some reason they can't tell her the results over the phone, they have to mail it. Bleh is impatient, so she asked them to fax it. I'll bet you five dollars it's a diagram for how to dislodge a mega-wedgie.

Whoop-tee-doo.

Oh, and The Daughter has been here twice this week. I'm sure we'll get a look at her today too. Yesterday was quite odd -- Bleh and The Daughter would whisper to each other, but loudly, so I could still hear everything they said. Talk about passive-aggressive!

UPDATE: Thanks to her penchant for loud personal calls, I learned Bleh has mild hyperthyroidism. Who would have guessed? My expert opinion is that she's just really lame.

Spring Break = Free Child Care

Bleh brought The Daughter in this morning. Apparently she'll be assisting in Bleh's duties today. But not for a while...they just went to get coffee. Or coffee and hot cocoa. Whatever. The kid will be here all morning. The afternoon show is completely different from the morning performance, be sure to tip your waitress.

UPDATE: The kid has just spent 5 minutes (!) unraveling a grease pencil. Gee, I'm ever so glad she's here to help today. Ever. So. Glad.

One Week

I go away for a week and when I come back, everything's still the same. Did I really think things would change? Bleh is so stupid, that even a frank discussion with her supervisor hasn't cracked her skull.

Number of personal calls today: seven.

Number of personal calls about her son's sleepover: five.

Number of personal calls where she described her diarrhea to the other person on the line: one.

Number of children in the office: one.

Number of days until Bleh goes away for a long weekend: one.

Number of braincells lost when she told me she'll be making "whoopee" with her mandolin-playing husband this weekend: too many to count.

Bending from the waist is bad for you...

Isn't it? Another trivial tidbit for your collection: Bleh does not bend at the knees to pick things up off the floor. No, she bends over from the waist. Oh, and she always bends over so that her ass is facing me. Gee, thanks. At least she's wearing a skirt today...I didn't get an eyeful of wedgie. Eww.

In other news, the Sup told me she has spoken to Bleh about her many annoying/unprofessional habits and that Bleh agreed to stop taking/making so many personal calls, stop bringing the kids in all the damn time, and stop vanishing for coffee for 20 or more minutes first thing in the morning.

So far today, Bleh has taken/made five personal calls, took a half hour (!) for coffee at 8:15 this morning, and the kids have come in twice. I understand that change takes a little time, but damn, from my viewpoint, NOTHING has changed.

Singing Lessons

Bleh's daughter is here. Yep, again. Bleh found out that one of our interns could teach her daughter to sing, so now the daughter is off somewhere in the building with said intern, taking a singing lesson! Did I mention this is on the office's time? The intern is supposed to be working, not giving singing lessons!

Oh, and Bleh has now made and/or received twelve (!) personal calls today. It's not even 3 o'clock yet. The staff handbook says this about personal calls:

"...Employees are requested to keep all personal phone calls to a minimum, and, unless there is an emergency (emphasis mine), should discourage relatives and friends from calling them during working hours. Please keep personal conversations brief."

Yep, I don't think Bleh read that part of the handbook. If she did, she certainly didn't absorb the information.

Snack Money

Both of the kids are here today. They spent most of the morning and part of the afternoon watching movies in another part of the office. Around 3pm, however, they are back in my neck of the woods, pestering "Mommy." One is playing a computer game, resulting in a furious amount of BAP BAP BAP noises on the keyboard. The other is reading a book with her bare feet propped up on her mother's desk. Classy.

It's 4:30 now and they're getting restless and hungry. You know what that means: whining until they get change for the lounge snack machine and chip bag crinkling and chip crunching.

I am SO stopping off at the liquor store on the way home.

She's a drunk?

Well, I thought I'd have a day of peace, what, with Bleh out of the office because she was feeling ill. Then at 1:15 she came strolling into the office with her spine-curdling gurgle of a laugh and her daughter in tow. "All better" it seems.

Oy.

She wasted no time getting on the phone and chatting up a friend. She told the friend about the two Long Island Iced Teas she had and how she has "forgotten everything." Indeed. When our boss stopped by a bit later to see how Bleh was feeling, Bleh told her that The Husband's family had come over and they had "exhausted her." No mention of the boozing or resulting hangover. Hmmm.