"It's all about me!!" -- Bleh

So Bleh's mother-in-law (MIL) has been living with her and her family for the past 4 years. This is a pretty normal thing for many families. Just recently, the MIL decided to move to an assisted living facility because she no longer drives. Since Bleh & Co live in the middle of nowhere, this is a logical and necessary step.
Now, Bleh doesn't like her MIL and has "put up with her" ever since she moved in, which technically, the MIL never did, as she lived in a guesthouse in their backyard. So instead of being happy because she is now free of her MIL's daily presence, Bleh is "angry" (her word) because her husband's mother had the audacity to "make" them build a guesthouse for her, then live with them for 4 years, and then move out! How dare she! Who does she think she is? Family?!

Huh??!

I know, I know...only Bleh could be upset something like about this. I mean, really...someone does something that's best for them and, I might add, works out to Bleh's advantage, but Bleh gets mad because it's Not. About. Her. Everything has to be about her.

Don't believe me? Here's an example of just how narcissistic and awful Bleh is --- I got married a couple years ago. My wedding was on a Friday afternoon at 4pm due to various reasons/limitations. Bleh saw her invitation* and got upset (as usual) and actually had the balls to ask me, "Do you not want us to come to your wedding? Why didn't you schedule it at a better time for us?" 'Us' meaning her.

Yep, she asked me that. Because obviously my wedding was all about her.

I could have slapped her. Maybe I should have. But I didn't. I took a deep breath then explained that she certainly did not have to attend if she was unable to take an hour off work on a Friday afternoon.

Bleh did not end up coming to the wedding. (Thank the gods!) Many of my coworkers did, however, and we had a great time. Unfortunately, all those nice coworkers are in other departments and I'm still stuck with Miss Sourpuss seething across the room. Ugh. The negativity gets a little dense in here sometimes.

I've worked with Bleh for almost 6 years. A lot of readers continue to ask me, "WHY?" The only answer I can give is that the Universe has not yet opened a door for me to escape. It will happen. Maybe I'm paying off some karmic debt from a previous life? Perhaps. Until then, I will bide my time, breathe deeply, get as Zen as I can, and continue to vent on this blog. My schadenfreude is yours to consume, Gentle Readers.

*I couldn't invite everyone else in the office except her, right? Don't answer that.

Why has this gone on for so long?

Long-time readers (and perhaps newer ones as well) probably wonder why the hell I've stuck it out in this office for so long when Bleh is the kind of coworker that could drive one to the very edge of sanity and confusion? Well, there are quite a few reasons, and today I'll write about some of them.

1. "It's the economy, stupid." Yep, we're living in harsh times and jobs are scarce, especially in my field. Also, the young are not appreciated in my field, nor are they paid very much, so my current options are stay here and survive, or leave and be in the poorhouse. Bleh isn't hauling in the dough and she actually does do some work when she's not whispering loudly to her kids (who are here almost every day!) or mysteriously away from her desk.
2. Why should I have to be the one to leave? She should leave, yes. She's the one with the boat- and plane-buying husband and a second job she could work from home. No one would give a sh*t if she had her widdle-baby teenage children with her all damned day if she was in her own house. (But then again, no one would give her any attention either, so we see why she won't go anywhere that has no captive audience.)
3. I've gone through all the proper channels to try and resolve this conflict but can't get the support I need. My immediate supervisor (The Supervisor) has an aversion to conflict, so she's no help. Bleh's not going to be fired because, get this, the Powers That Be think I'm the problem! Yes, you read that correctly -- they think I'm high-maintenance because I've dared to complain about Bleh's lack of professionalism. My Supervisor's supervisor tried to give me cubicle walls to 'solve' the problem(s). When I politely declined (because honestly, that would do nothing but put me inside a cube outside of which Bleh would continue to be Bleh), the Head Honcho made fun of me with The Supervisor in front of my face. Talk about employee support! Sure, there's actually one more level of authority above Head Honcho, but at this point, I don't think I could take another round of rejection and apathy regarding my plight. I mean, seriously, if the two people who could help me won't, why would the guy two buildings over who probably doesn't even know my name help me? He's even less invested than they are.

So, The Powers That Be have decided to let Bleh run rampant and stick the shiv of fate further under my fingernails. Maybe there's some cosmic lesson about patience and love that I'm supposed to be learning by suffering this bullsh*t... maybe not.

Maybe the Universe can go f*ck itself.

I don't have a title for this post -- I'm too busy chuckling to myself.

Bleh's been cornered by the chatty cleaning lady for the past 20 minutes. This is hilarious because the cleaning lady, while a sweet gal, is the kind of person who answers a simple "How are you?" with her laundry list of life problems. So you never ask the cleaning lady how she's doing -- you just say hello, smile, and keep walking unless you want to get an earful about her ailments, children, or whatever minutia she's got on the brain that day.

Bleh doesn't like Cleaning Lady. In fact, she's asked me to "call her" so she'd have an excuse to stop talking to CL. Here's the funny part -- I'm over here typing and not calling...

I guess everyone has a Bleh. Even Bleh.

UPDATE: Bleh just went to the restroom. She didn't wash her hands. Eww.

I don't even care anymore

Bleh arrived 15 mins. late as her usual. There was no one here but me to notice, as the Supervisor is out today. Then Bleh told me she had to leave again to run a personal errand. The funny thing is, my blood pressure isn't rising. Hell, it's not budging even a little. Maybe she'll freeze on her way over.

I think I've taken solace in the knowledge that there's a special ring in Hell for people like Bleh. Some kind of place where no one will listen to her wacky farm or cloying children stories, the phone rings constantly but she can't answer it, and ballerina tutus and plasma TVs swirl around her head.

Grass is greener? Not this time. Heh heh!

I admit: I was pissed last week when Bleh snapped up a cart of interesting looking work before she was even finished with her current work.* However, today I find out that due to a computer error all the work on the "interesting" cart she hastily grabbed hadn't been properly set up, leaving Bleh not only doing double-duty on an entire cart of non-setup work, but feeling bad.**

*Not only is she extremely nosy, she's also selfish.
**Wow, this whole "being evil" thing is coming a little to easy. I better slow up a bit.