"Good" Parenting

So....Had a little chat today with someone who works in the other department Bleh is squatting in until our colleague returns from sabbatical. Turns out this person can't stand Bleh's drama-magnet  shenanigans either! (Who knew!?)

Turns out The Daughter, aka Mini-Bleh, has full-blown depression and is suicidal. She's dropped out of school and now apparently follows Bleh around the office: to the printer, to the bathroom, to the water cooler. Oh boy...

It gets worse. The Daughter is having to sleep BETWEEN HER PARENTS in their bed because she's on suicide watch or something! OMG and eww! Of course, we know this because Bleh can't keep her trap shut to save her life; if something's gonna get her attention, she'll say/do it.

Now, my heart goes out to this poor child. It's obvious that 18 years of smothering and  helicoptering by the two most insane and self-absorbed parents on the planet has finally taken its toll on her mental well-being; however, I think she can still be saved. If she moves out, gets some meds and therapy, and doesn't see her whacked mommie and daddy for a few years, she can probably overcome the snow job they've done on her. It'll be tough though --- especially since the kid has no money and thinks her parents are her best fwends.

Geez...Mini-Bleh is 18 so I can't call CPS. I guess I'll just have to hope for the best? Don't know what else to do.

The Supervisor

Over the years many readers have asked about The Supervisor and what her deal is. (Dear gods, this situation has been going on for years! I need a minute...okay, I'm back.) She avoids conflict at all costs, hence Bleh's ability to get away with just about anything*. I learned recently that the Sup did not even want to become head of my department (this happened before I started working here) and that the Head Honcho basically moved her into that position.

Great. So what I've wondered about for years has been confirmed---I've got a timid (or apathetic?) supervisor on the one hand, and a functionally crazy person spazzing all over the office spewing narcissistic drama on the other. Lucky me sits in-between them. A colleague of mine who works in another department and knows firsthand of Bleh's special brand of Teh Crazy, told me to keep a log of all the nut-job things she does so  there would be a record in case Bleh gets let go for incompetence and decides to sue when the new Head Honcho comes later this summer.

In the good news corner: I didn't catch Mono. At least I don't think I did. Also, I had a phone interview last week regarding a very promising job elsewhere. We'll see if it scores me an in-person interview...

Today's Pants Report: Yep, wedgie. How does she wear those pants all day without screaming?

*Special hours, leaving during the day for random personal reasons, in-office babysitting, texting all day, etc.

We've replaced these brains with F0lgers Crystals; Let's See if They Notice

Those of us of a certain age will remember that instant coffee commercial campaign from the 80s. It comes to mind today because of our dear Bleh. She was out sick yesterday with claims of vertigo. She's complained of this malady for years and says it incapacitates her to the point of not being able to move her head at all, lest she suffer nausea and extreme disorientation.

Sounds pretty awful, right? Well, apparently she had time to put her hair in curlers last night and soak in compliments about her wavy hairdo today. I guess the vertigo only affected her between the hours of 8 and 5. Geez.

At least I got a Bleh-free day at work --- see, silver lining!!

The Week of the Unlucky Lung Continues

Bleh returned to the office today. She's still sick, as bronchitis usually takes a few weeks to recover from. So she's hacking and coughing and putting on her best pitiful face every time a colleague asks her how she's doing. Which is like every 3 minutes. Ugh.

I was nice yesterday and did some of her work for her because it was rush-priority stuff and if it didn't get done, there would be consequences. So I did it for the sake of the office. In addition to that, because I knew she was actually ill, I did another task for her as well and got the interns to help so Bleh wouldn't be completely avalanched by work when she returned (which I thought would be next week).

When will I learn?

The FIRST thing out of Bleh's mouth today was, "What are these [items] doing on my desk? Did somebody else do this?" I told her it was part of the work I did yesterday, work which is typically HERS. She didn't say thank you. Instead, she proceeded to double-check all the work, asking if all the right steps had been taken. Um, yes, they had.

I guess she thought I was out to sabotage her, but I wasn't. Still, no apology for her assumptions on that either.

Oh, and then Supervisor told Bleh that I had taken care of the rush-priority work in Bleh's absence. Still no thank you.

Wow.

That's the last time I allow myself to think Bleh has a shred of gratitude in her lumpy, ill-dressed body. What a bitch! She can stew in her virus and get avalanched.

She's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Bleh CAME BACK to the office today, after seeing her doctor because The Husband had to work this afternoon and they only have one car.

Wow, the guy won't even drive his sick wife home. Instead he makes her come to the office where she'll get us ALL sick. F*cker! And get this: she's coughing and saying she hopes her husband doesn't come down with her bronchitis! WTF? What about us? I'd punch her, but then I'd probably get her cough cooties.

Unbelievable!

Let's bring the sick kid to work!

Bleh came in a couple hours late because she wasn't feeling well this morning. Fine. Whatever. What's not cool is she brought in her kid, who had bronchitis last week. (They're off school today because of the holiday). So now there's two gross coughing people sitting a mere 15 feet away, hacking, spitting, and, of course, chitchatting with each other (cuz Mommy and Daughter are like, BFF! OMG!)

Sigh. I was hoping to have a quiet Monday. Looks like that ain't happening. If I get bronchitis, I'm gonna smack that woman!

UPDATE: "Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! Whisper! I'm trying to be inconspicuous, but it's impossible for me!" -- Bleh.

I am Going to Puke

Bleh is currently standing in the doorway gushing over the sick colleague. Bleh wants to be sure that not only does Sick Colleague know she cares deeply but that everyone within hearing distance knows too. Also, Bleh made sure to tell S.C. [and the rest of us] that she herself has gone to get tested and (gasp!) has to go back to get more tests due to a 'shadow' having been found on her first round of test results.

I wish Bleh's shadow was in her mouth so she'd just shut up about herself.

I have no words

Bleh's been making multiple phone calls today to various doctors and lab techs, chatting loudly about her test results and scheduling second visits. Apparently she wants everyone to know that she's getting tested for the same malady that unfortunately visited another colleague recently. Oh, and that there was a "shadow" on one of her X-rays.

Usually I'd say this was a smart thing to do; however, in Bleh's case it's just another pathetic cry for attention. I would say I've lost some respect for Bleh, but I never had any for her to begin with.

Gollum

Remember Gollum, from the Lord of the Rings movies? The computer-generated character who had an annoyingly cutesy voice and a horrible hacking cough?

I ask because Bleh has both of those characteristics as well. Besides her ever-present little girl voice, she's had a bizarre, phlegm-y cough for months now. Don't worry ---- I wash my hands often and have taken a vow never to eat anything she provides or makes ever again. I learned that lesson the hard way. We have an office potluck coming up soon; I won't be eating anything from Bleh's kitchen.

I'm gonna be sick

No, really. Bleh just went to the restroom, and did not wash her hands. How do I know? The bathroom is in our office and I heard her flush then she opened the door and walked toward the kitchenette. No squeaky faucet turn, no water noise. Nothin'.

Sure, that's kinda gross. But it gets worse.

She then served some of her Seder dish (the same one she's been yappin' about all morning and I've been writing about) WITH THE SAME TOILET HANDS she didn't just wash. Oh, god. I ate some of that Seder shit this morning myself. Now I'm having nightmare visions of her kitchen at home and how she didn't wash her hands there either.

Why, Yahweh? WHY?

I'm gonna go barf now.

UPDATE: Okay, you thought I was just being paranoid when I said Bleh didn't wash her hands after using the office bathroom. Well, she just went again and again, she did NOT wash her hands! EWW! I will never eat anything she brings to this office ever again. Ever.