Oh the mess...

As long-time readers know, Bleh is a crier. She cries when she's been wronged, when she's overwhelmed, when she's tired, when she's not getting her way, and definitely when she's deseperate.

The Head Honcho is retiring next month. With that knowledge, Bleh went to her this summer, cried about how she was worried about her job, and got herself temporarily PROMOTED to Department Head of a department whose Head went on sabbatical this Autumn! AND she got herself a raise in the process!

So what does Bleh do after brown-nosing her way to new heights due to having a sucker for a boss? Bleh complains. That's right, she f***king COMPLAINS about all the work she now has to do.

Um, excuse me,  Bleh, but you got a new title (that you did nothing to deserve!) and a chunk of change to do this new work, so STFU. The rest of us have taken on the burden of 2 or 3 new duties because of severe budget cuts and none of us got promotions or raises of any kind. We didn't even get a thank you; instead we did it because we want to keep our jobs in this sh*tty economy.

Wow. Give Bleh special treatment, give her everything she wants, and the crying continues. I can't roll my eyes back in my head far enough to display just how much of a baby she is. Seriously!

I'll be glad when she's thrown off her perch in January and her precious title and raise go away. Maybe she'll learn a little humility?

Nah, this is Bleh we're talking about. Humility isn't in her vocabulary.

P.S. She actually told everyone she was applying for another job in the next town over. I don't think she got it, though. She's still here.

"It's all about me!!" -- Bleh

So Bleh's mother-in-law (MIL) has been living with her and her family for the past 4 years. This is a pretty normal thing for many families. Just recently, the MIL decided to move to an assisted living facility because she no longer drives. Since Bleh & Co live in the middle of nowhere, this is a logical and necessary step.
Now, Bleh doesn't like her MIL and has "put up with her" ever since she moved in, which technically, the MIL never did, as she lived in a guesthouse in their backyard. So instead of being happy because she is now free of her MIL's daily presence, Bleh is "angry" (her word) because her husband's mother had the audacity to "make" them build a guesthouse for her, then live with them for 4 years, and then move out! How dare she! Who does she think she is? Family?!

Huh??!

I know, I know...only Bleh could be upset something like about this. I mean, really...someone does something that's best for them and, I might add, works out to Bleh's advantage, but Bleh gets mad because it's Not. About. Her. Everything has to be about her.

Don't believe me? Here's an example of just how narcissistic and awful Bleh is --- I got married a couple years ago. My wedding was on a Friday afternoon at 4pm due to various reasons/limitations. Bleh saw her invitation* and got upset (as usual) and actually had the balls to ask me, "Do you not want us to come to your wedding? Why didn't you schedule it at a better time for us?" 'Us' meaning her.

Yep, she asked me that. Because obviously my wedding was all about her.

I could have slapped her. Maybe I should have. But I didn't. I took a deep breath then explained that she certainly did not have to attend if she was unable to take an hour off work on a Friday afternoon.

Bleh did not end up coming to the wedding. (Thank the gods!) Many of my coworkers did, however, and we had a great time. Unfortunately, all those nice coworkers are in other departments and I'm still stuck with Miss Sourpuss seething across the room. Ugh. The negativity gets a little dense in here sometimes.

I've worked with Bleh for almost 6 years. A lot of readers continue to ask me, "WHY?" The only answer I can give is that the Universe has not yet opened a door for me to escape. It will happen. Maybe I'm paying off some karmic debt from a previous life? Perhaps. Until then, I will bide my time, breathe deeply, get as Zen as I can, and continue to vent on this blog. My schadenfreude is yours to consume, Gentle Readers.

*I couldn't invite everyone else in the office except her, right? Don't answer that.

My Eyes! My Eyes!

Yes, Bleh went swimming at lunch yesterday, and yes, she sneezed and coughed and complained ALL AFTERNOON about the effects the chlorine had on her.

This morning she's telling anyone who'll listen about how "great a workout swimming is" but that she's gotta "get over these allergies" she has because it's just so intense. Wow, anything for attention!

It's a good thing weapons are barred here in the workplace because today would be an excellent day to drop an anvil on Bleh.

Two-Face Returns

Bleh is gossiping in a quasi-whisper* about another colleague's house, saying how disgusting and cluttered it is. (Bleh apparently went over to "help" this colleague move last weekend. What her interior motive was, who knows? But you readers know she had one; she's not a philanthropist.)

Fine, whatever. Gossip away.

But DON'T pretend to be best pals with the person, giving them hugs in the office, and act all nice to their face, then turn around the moment they're gone and yap on and on about the state of this person's house. Yes, the colleague probably has a hoarding problem. The state of their desk is pretty indicative of such an inclination. Hoarding is usually the result of some kind of mental duress or obsession; it's not really the person's fault.

But Bleh has no sense of tact or delicacy; she's just out to get whatever attention she can, despite whoever she may hurt.

Ye Gods!

Do I tell the colleague? Or just stay the hell out of it? It really wouldn't do any good to let Colleague know what a sniping two-faced bitch Bleh is (if Colleague doesn't know already.)

I'm really pissed, so I'm going to take a break now.

*If Bleh really wanted to speak of something secretly, she'd take it outside.

Mistakes

I caught a mistake made by Bleh today. Did I make a big loud deal about it the way she does when she happens upon a typo of mine?

No. I fixed it and went about my day like a normal person.

The Week of the Unlucky Lung Continues

Bleh returned to the office today. She's still sick, as bronchitis usually takes a few weeks to recover from. So she's hacking and coughing and putting on her best pitiful face every time a colleague asks her how she's doing. Which is like every 3 minutes. Ugh.

I was nice yesterday and did some of her work for her because it was rush-priority stuff and if it didn't get done, there would be consequences. So I did it for the sake of the office. In addition to that, because I knew she was actually ill, I did another task for her as well and got the interns to help so Bleh wouldn't be completely avalanched by work when she returned (which I thought would be next week).

When will I learn?

The FIRST thing out of Bleh's mouth today was, "What are these [items] doing on my desk? Did somebody else do this?" I told her it was part of the work I did yesterday, work which is typically HERS. She didn't say thank you. Instead, she proceeded to double-check all the work, asking if all the right steps had been taken. Um, yes, they had.

I guess she thought I was out to sabotage her, but I wasn't. Still, no apology for her assumptions on that either.

Oh, and then Supervisor told Bleh that I had taken care of the rush-priority work in Bleh's absence. Still no thank you.

Wow.

That's the last time I allow myself to think Bleh has a shred of gratitude in her lumpy, ill-dressed body. What a bitch! She can stew in her virus and get avalanched.

Can she get any lower?

A colleague got married last weekend. Bleh and I were both in attendance. It was an odd wedding in that the groom unfortunately got stuck at an out-of-state airport that morning and couldn't get to the ceremony, so the couple got married over the phone. (Believe it or not, it was still a lovely low-key ceremony; the bride was the picture of grace and composure.) We all enjoyed the reception and the bride seemed to have fun too. The groom supposedly flew in later that evening and they had a ring ceremony then. All ended well, right?

Not when Bleh's involved...

This morning Bleh goes to my sup's office and tells her she's worried about the colleague, saying she thinks colleague didn't actually get married since -- get this! -- Bleh went home after the wedding and checked the airline's webpage for delayed/canceled flights and found none! Gee, that means it's time to start spreading conspiracies around the office!

One, who does that? Seriously --- why "check up" on the groom? If something happened or changed, that's the couple's business, not Bleh's.

Two, now Bleh is now spreading this around the office, upsetting everyone that the colleague's marriage might not be okay, that the groom somehow didn't want to get married, etc.

Bleh, you're a cruel and unusual bitch. Shut up and mind your own business.