Bleh's here today! WITH her mother and Mini-Bleh!
Apparently, she's got to introduce her mother to everyone in the office. Huh? Why? To top things off, her cell phone keeps ringing. I guess since she's not working she doesn't mind interrupting everyone else with her visitors and her phone.
Bleh, GO HOME. You took time off to spend it with your family, not inflict them upon us. Seriously, does everything have to be about you even on your day off?!
So maybe Bleh doesn't make/get as many personal calls as she did in the early days, but now she's apparently discovered texting. And instead of putting her phone on silent like a considerate person, she's got it on vibrate.
Yep, you guessed it...all day long "BZZZZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZZZZ!"
It's the kind of annoying noise that's got me wishing there was a hornet's nest nearby I could put under her desk.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Bleh's Mommie is visiting this weekend. Bad part? She's been yapping about it all day. (Because we care, remember?) Good part? She's out of the office until Tuesday! Yay!
My quiet respite is over. Bleh is back from her winter vay-kay. Joy. Apparently she took her daughter out of state for the holidays, and when they boarded a plane to return home the other day, the kid's peanut allergy flared up and they had to de-board and take a later flight. While I certainly am not mocking the kid's health problems, I have had to hear about them ALL morning.
Guess what, Bleh? We don't care.
Oh, AND the daughter is here in the office today. Why? Who the frak knows. It's Bleh's world, apparently; I just suffer in it.
IN OTHER NEWS: Bleh's doing that thing again where she just talks loudly to The Supervisor and expects that to suffice as "telling" me also. Um, if someone can't have the decency to actually face me when they're supposedly speaking to me, then I don't have to "listen," do I? That extra step of making Bleh repeat herself to me is annoying yes, but more annoying to her than me.
Ah, it's the little things, isn't it?
Bleh is taking two days off next week! Yay! I don't know if it's part of her 'vacation' time, but who cares? (Readers will remember she doesn't take leave time all year so she can spend 2 weeks with her annoying family in some cabin somewhere.) She's always working weird schedules so she doesn't have to use her leave time. Weird.
Oh, and I took the rest of next week off for myself, so no Bleh for 10 days starting Saturday! WOOO!
Bleh is scheduled to make coffee every week on this day. She, of course, came in 25 minutes late this morning, so there was no coffee made. Seeing as how I wanted some, I went to the staff lounge and began to make a pot. I had everything ready to go, so I pushed the "start" button and retreated to the bathroom right off the lounge.
A minute later I heard the drone of bees. In my pre-caffeinated state it took me a couple seconds to realize it was Bleh. She had shown up and was finally making coffee.
"Well, that's just stupid!" I heard her say. "Somebody doesn't know what they're doing."
I flushed, took time washing my hands and strolled out to see Bleh in her very best Hannukah sweater vest, complete with appliqued dradles. She looked like a bedraggled 1st grade teacher on the lam. She told me I had messed up making the coffee. I guess she just assumed I did it (even though I did), since no one else was around. I said, "Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry." But she continued to tell me how poor of a coffee maker I was for the next few minutes, punctuating her condemnations with her grating horse whinnies of a laugh.
Rather than punch her, I graciously refrained, and instead prepared a styrofoam cup with sugar and non-dairy creamer as she blathered on, doing multiplication tables in my head to drown her out. Finally the coffee was ready and I was about to pour it when Bleh mentioned an unopened bottle of half n' half in another mini-fridge on the other side of the building. Now, coffee drinkers know that actual dairy is 100s of times better than non-dairy any day, so no one will be shocked when I chucked the yellowy powder into the trash, filled my cup with hot fresh joe, and headed out to find this unopened bottle of smooth creamy goodness.
I found the unopened bottle right where Bleh said it would be and peeled back the safety lid. I caught a whiff of something a little off, but poured some anyway. I stopped. The half n' half wasn't pouring, it was glopping. It had curdled. A lot.
So, fighting back the urge to be sick, I dumped the spoiled creamer and my ruined coffee into the trash, and headed back to the lounge to start over. Bleh was still there, yapping to another colleague. I told her what happened and she started saying, "I just can't believe it," over and over, as though aliens had landed and stolen my coffee.
I went ahead with my original plan: sugar and non-dairy creamer. I then left the lounge just as Bleh was struggling under the weight of a 5-gallon water jug for the cooler. I would have offered to help her if she hadn't scolded me like a child about my coffee making skills (or lack thereof) or acted like the world was ending when she found out about the creamer. There's two things that really irk me: assholes and over-reacters.
Geez. At least I won't have to deal with her for a few weeks. Dear Readers, Yours Truly will be on vacation on the west coast until early January. Don't worry, I'm sure Bleh will be just as annoying in 2009 as she is now, so be sure to check in in the new year. Your readership is most appreciated!
Bleh and her family are going on vacation, starting this Friday. She won't be back in the office until August 11th! Can you believe it? Eighteen continuous Bleh-free days. It might just give me a reason to live again.
This is the vacation she's been "working" overtime for all year. I can't believe it's finally time. She'll be wearin' her wedgies in another state while I work in peace and cellphone ring-less quiet. YES!
Well, she's baaaaaaaaack. She apparently visited her mother. Bleh's been gushing about her like a lovesick teenager pining for Johnny Depp, circa 1988. Yeah, it's kinda weird. Bleh also mentioned she took some really nice photos of her mom. Okay, we get it, you worship your mom. Simma' down now!
Bleh's daughter also returns. No, not to the office (thank ye gods!) but from ballerina camp. What will we do without the daily freakout session of ohmigawd my child is in another state for 3 weeks where i sent her of my own free will?! variety. We'll relax, I guess.
Other than that, I've had my earphones in all morning. See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil. Well I'm working on that last part.
Sorry folks, but Bleh is out for the week. To clarify, I'm not sorry she's gone, but maybe a little sorry I won't have any tidbits about her annoying behavior to post for a few days.
She and The Husband are off to pick up whiny daughter from ballerina camp, then to the mountains for a week. Wow...a week of no wedgie sightings, no horrible horse laughs, and no baby voice.
It's gonna be awesome!
