2017 Check-In

For some strange reason, this blog popped into my mind today and I logged in. It took me a minute, because I couldn't remember what email address I used for this blogger account. I finally figured it out and here I am.

I haven't actually seen Bleh in a couple years. I can't believe it's been over 3 years since I haven't had to work with her. I feel better, I sleep better, and I am not filled to bursting with annoyance and exasperation on a daily basis anymore.

Bleh's Husband still works for the same company I do, but I rarely see him (bonus!). I noticed recently that he had stopped wearing a wedding band (or had never worn one?), so I wondered if Bleh had finally divorced the bastard, but then I saw an email The Husband accidentally (?) hit "reply all" to and mentioned he and Bleh had gone on a vacation together recently. So I guess they're not divorced?

Sigh. Don't know. Don't really care.

It's funny how much Bleh affected my health and wellbeing back then. I actually like going to work now and feel pretty fulfilled. I haven't even looked at a job ad in many months. I also don't drink hard liquor nightly anymore either. That alone is a major quality of life improvement.

So, whatever Bleh's doing, or wherever she is, I'm just glad she's not here. Life goes on. Fortunately, it's going on here without her.

The Husband

Recently saw The Husband. He comes by the office every now and then. Why? I don't really know. Perhaps Bleh sends him over to spy or something lame like that. He looks like he's lost weight but not in a healthy way, more of a gaunt kind of way. Maybe Bleh's new job keeps her too busy to cater to his every whim?

The world may never know.

"Good" Parenting

So....Had a little chat today with someone who works in the other department Bleh is squatting in until our colleague returns from sabbatical. Turns out this person can't stand Bleh's drama-magnet  shenanigans either! (Who knew!?)

Turns out The Daughter, aka Mini-Bleh, has full-blown depression and is suicidal. She's dropped out of school and now apparently follows Bleh around the office: to the printer, to the bathroom, to the water cooler. Oh boy...

It gets worse. The Daughter is having to sleep BETWEEN HER PARENTS in their bed because she's on suicide watch or something! OMG and eww! Of course, we know this because Bleh can't keep her trap shut to save her life; if something's gonna get her attention, she'll say/do it.

Now, my heart goes out to this poor child. It's obvious that 18 years of smothering and  helicoptering by the two most insane and self-absorbed parents on the planet has finally taken its toll on her mental well-being; however, I think she can still be saved. If she moves out, gets some meds and therapy, and doesn't see her whacked mommie and daddy for a few years, she can probably overcome the snow job they've done on her. It'll be tough though --- especially since the kid has no money and thinks her parents are her best fwends.

Geez...Mini-Bleh is 18 so I can't call CPS. I guess I'll just have to hope for the best? Don't know what else to do.

More fake than fake

Bleh's been out of the office for two days because her 16 yr old son is sick at home.

Usually, this would not raise my eyebrow. However, it's currently a school holiday and The Husband has the days off as well. So, why isn't HE taking care of the sick kid?? Not that I want Bleh to be in the office, but dang, doesn't she realize how transparent she's being?

Doesn't The Supervisor get it? Apparently not.

Oh, the humanity. . .

Just Adorable.

Awwww....Bleh and The Husband "spontaneously" decided to get breakfast this morning. At least that's the reason Bleh gave for being 30 minutes late today. Our Supervisor just giggled and didn't say anything to her.

Wow.

Maybe I should pull that stunt tomorrow? I like a hot breakfast instead of cold poptarts at my desk any day.

On the phone again (and again)

I've been writing this blog for 5 years. Some things around here never change. This morning, The Husband calls Bleh to, wait for it..., that's right, make a phone call for him!

This man is so helpless! He has a Ph.D. yet he cannot call anyone but his wife to ask her to call people. I don't get it either.

Widdle Baby Boy Needs Some Sweep...

Bleh emailed us to say she'd be late this morning because she wanted her son to be able to sleep in before his last final exam today.

Uh, okay...? How does that make Bleh late for work?

Oh, right...The Husband is completely helpless, so obviously he can't take the kid to school. What a weird family. And yet again, they have an impact upon my workplace. Sheesh.

I almost forgot

I almost forgot to post about this, the latest incident of questionable behavior regarding Bleh's kids!

Last week sometime, Mini-Bleh was apparently slicing some vegetables on a mandoline and sliced off a part of her palm, ironically right after Bleh told her to use caution. So, there was a lot of blood. So much blood, according to Bleh, the bleeding wouldn't stop and she and The Husband wondered whether or not to take Mini-Bleh to the ER.

Of course, since they live in the middle of nowhere, they decided against taking their bleeding child to get help because, get this, she just so happened to have a doctor's appointment scheduled for the very next morning at 11! Really, why get help now, when you can wait 15 hours?

Why this child stays with parents such as this, I will never know. Oh, and she's fine, by the way.

Why has this gone on for so long?

Long-time readers (and perhaps newer ones as well) probably wonder why the hell I've stuck it out in this office for so long when Bleh is the kind of coworker that could drive one to the very edge of sanity and confusion? Well, there are quite a few reasons, and today I'll write about some of them.

1. "It's the economy, stupid." Yep, we're living in harsh times and jobs are scarce, especially in my field. Also, the young are not appreciated in my field, nor are they paid very much, so my current options are stay here and survive, or leave and be in the poorhouse. Bleh isn't hauling in the dough and she actually does do some work when she's not whispering loudly to her kids (who are here almost every day!) or mysteriously away from her desk.
2. Why should I have to be the one to leave? She should leave, yes. She's the one with the boat- and plane-buying husband and a second job she could work from home. No one would give a sh*t if she had her widdle-baby teenage children with her all damned day if she was in her own house. (But then again, no one would give her any attention either, so we see why she won't go anywhere that has no captive audience.)
3. I've gone through all the proper channels to try and resolve this conflict but can't get the support I need. My immediate supervisor (The Supervisor) has an aversion to conflict, so she's no help. Bleh's not going to be fired because, get this, the Powers That Be think I'm the problem! Yes, you read that correctly -- they think I'm high-maintenance because I've dared to complain about Bleh's lack of professionalism. My Supervisor's supervisor tried to give me cubicle walls to 'solve' the problem(s). When I politely declined (because honestly, that would do nothing but put me inside a cube outside of which Bleh would continue to be Bleh), the Head Honcho made fun of me with The Supervisor in front of my face. Talk about employee support! Sure, there's actually one more level of authority above Head Honcho, but at this point, I don't think I could take another round of rejection and apathy regarding my plight. I mean, seriously, if the two people who could help me won't, why would the guy two buildings over who probably doesn't even know my name help me? He's even less invested than they are.

So, The Powers That Be have decided to let Bleh run rampant and stick the shiv of fate further under my fingernails. Maybe there's some cosmic lesson about patience and love that I'm supposed to be learning by suffering this bullsh*t... maybe not.

Maybe the Universe can go f*ck itself.

The Return in Review

Well, she's back. She ambled in lazily this morning, ubiquitous daughter in-tow, 20 minutes late. She brought gifts from her travels to the Supervisor. Nothing for me.
[Yep, I cried for hours. Hours! Not.]

I would say it's weird having her back, but it isn't. Things are very much back to "normal" here. She's still wearing her ill-fitting capri pants and bending at the waist in them, displaying her middleaged wedgie'd cheeks to the world when picking up a pen that has unfortunately fallen to the floor. She's still disappearing for chunks of time to go to who-knows-where, and she's still gushing over the interns like they're her other children. (I guess smothering her two biological kids isn't enough?)

So, yeah, my summertime blues are back. She won't go away for another whole week until next July. Until then, it will be special flexible hours and times off for her, you know, so she can truck her kids all over the place in her hybrid. She'll be going on and on with her yammering on about dance lessons she still drives her college-age child to, doctors visits (with full disclosure about her many ailments and health-related paranoid scenarios), and calls to and from The Husband. You know, the guy who has a PhD but can't make a phone call for himself? Yeah, that guy.

I am very thankful to have a job in this sh*tty economy, but man, the grass is always greener... At least I get one week out of 52 with the sweet silence that is her vacation.

Marriage Advice

Bleh's giving one of the interns marriage advice(!). She told the kid not to have children until 3 years into a marriage, because "it changes the whole dynamic" of said marriage. Yep, Bleh the marriage pro. Heh!

Hmmm. I think Bleh would have turned out to be a poor parent regardless of how long she and The Husband waited. See parenting -related posts for examples. Have some tissue ready; you may cry.'

Oh, and it's chocolate time again. Bleh brought a box of chocolates her son is supposed to be selling for school. Since they live next to no one, I guess Bleh thinks her colleagues can buy this sh*t instead.

Planes, Phones and Crazymobiles

Well, no plane. The Husband flew to wherever his new plane is and learned he was unable to fly it back home. Apparently he learned to fly on a different kind of plane and had no clue how to drive the one he bought. Heh! He now owns a plane in another state.

The Daughter, a.k.a, Mini-Bleh, has been over a lot this week. She's taken to just coming over and chatting up the interns in my department, even when she's not scheduled to be at work! (Does my Supervisor do anything about this? NO.) Apparently Mini-Bleh is just like her mom and has no life outside of this institution. I gotta tell ya, she does it one more time, I'm calling her aside and telling her she can't just wander in and have playtime with the interns...they're supposed to be um, working. I'm sure she'll run crying to "mommie" but I really just don't care anymore.

And finally, Bleh was back on the phones again today, this time about her 2nd job. She actually sat over there loudly talking to a client while she was on the clock! This woman is so bat-brained she has no idea how lucky she is to work under an oblivious supervisor.

Me? Not so lucky...but that's why I call my lovely readers The Schadenfreude Fans. :-)

A bit o' gossip

A colleague called me aside today to tell me she was really sick of Bleh's antics and that the office should never have hired her. Wow! There's someone on my side! My supervisor still does nothing to corral Bleh's unprofessionalism, but having the knowledge that someone knows my pain helps.

In other Bleh News:
She emailed everyone in the office a picture of the plane The Husband bought. So now in addition to a boat, they also have a plane. Apparently it's in another state, so The Husband and her son are flying there to pick it up and fly it back home. Bleh's been going on and on and on about how worried she is about them. Give it a rest, Bleh. The wailing and gnashing of teeth is sooooo 2000 years ago.

Mini-Bleh Update & other random stuffs

Now that Mini-Bleh is close-by, she is around ALL the time. She stops in to talk to "Mommy," as she calls Bleh, 3, 4, 5 times a day. Does anyone say anything to Bleh about all these obvious personal gab-fests? No, of course not.

In other news, The Husband has purchased a plane. Yes, a plane. Now they own a boat and a plane. Well, aren't they just special? It's be great if they'd all pile in one of them and take a one-way trip to Mexico.

May Day

Bleh arrived with her entourage (read: her children) again this morning. She actually got here earlier than usual, only 4 minutes after eight instead of her usual 15. Almost immediately, her cell rang and she tottered off to chat. We probably won't see her again for another 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, I got here at 7:45 and have been working until now. How sad that this break is filled with reporting on Mrs Awful and her ever-present brood... Gods....I guess one of her chickens will be here all the time starting soon. (See The Internship.)

A bit of good news... Bleh is off for the rest of the week starting tomorrow! Her vewy special Mommie is in town. As you may imagine, around the office we've been informed of this very important visit for weeks. [Eye roll.]

Yeah, it's great that your mom is visiting, Bleh, I just wish you would have taken more time off, you know, and given the rest of us some time to celebrate too.

UPDATE: Bleh's kid has interrupted her (and therefore everyone else) 10 times today. That, plus the 7 personal calls has kept Bleh pretty damned busy. The Husband even swung by today to take the kids to lunch. Why didn't he take them home? Or to school? What the hell is going on?

Oh, and Bleh has wondered why I wear headphones all the time. Gee... I wonder why I would do that...?

Big Phone Keeps On Ringin'...

First order of business? Why take a phone call from your helpless husband about buying chickens.

Chickens.

Is anyone else feeling uncomfortable?

What? You're not 10 feet from someone arguing with their husband on the phone at the office? Oh. You lucky duck!

She's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Bleh CAME BACK to the office today, after seeing her doctor because The Husband had to work this afternoon and they only have one car.

Wow, the guy won't even drive his sick wife home. Instead he makes her come to the office where she'll get us ALL sick. F*cker! And get this: she's coughing and saying she hopes her husband doesn't come down with her bronchitis! WTF? What about us? I'd punch her, but then I'd probably get her cough cooties.

Unbelievable!

Mother of the Year

Bleh chit-chats with colleagues until 8:30 or so, then says, "Gee! It's my day to make the office coffee!" (And you wonder why I go next door to pay for coffee...) Then she returns to her desk to make a bunch of calls about her kid, who apparently passed out this morning. The Husband has been calling because he's at the pharmacy and is mad and confused. Meanwhile, Bleh has been calling someone else in the office to tell her about some medication the kid is on while fielding multiple calls from The Husband.

So her desk phone AND cell have been buzzing all morning. Finally, Bleh calls the pediatric nurse and tells her what happened and says the kid is probably just fine and has passed out before. The Nurse apparently tells Bleh to take the kid to the ER. (Um, probably something that they should have done in the first place.) Bleh said no, she "wasn't going to do that," and that she'll wait to get an appointment with the pediatrician.

Wow. I am sooooo glad Bleh and The Husband aren't my parents. I'd of been dead long ago.

UPDATE: Now Bleh is telling everyone her kid had a mild seizure this morning! WTF?! Why on earth is she here at the office instead of with her kid at the hospital? Oh, right, because if she were there, no one here would be paying attention to her. I am so saddened by this.

How do you solve a problem like Maria Bleh?

Bleh update:

• Apparently she and The Husband are having parts of their house renovated? Of course, I (and everyone else within earshot) know this because she takes calls from him all day, talks loudly about some amount of money they're spending and 'notes it'. Ya know, Bleh, you could do that crap over email.
• She's been in and out of the office all day driving her kid to various appointments. Sure, I've been enjoying the quiet time while she's gone, but when she gets back, it's a necessary feature of Bleh-World to divulge EVERYTHING that happened in the 90 minutes she was out. We just wouldn't want to miss part of her very important day, now would we?

For those readers who do not understand Bleh* nor my need to vent, or find this blog petty and nonconstructive:

• Sure, there's confrontation and there's decapitation. However, neither would solve any problems around here. If you don't like this blog or it's content, you are most welcome to visit any of the other 1 zillion websites out there or start your own. So, good day, sir. I said good day.

*Who does, really?