Ran out of gas

Bleh strolled in at 8:17 and stopped at another colleague's desk to tell the tale of how she ran out of gas last night. Heh! Apparently her fancy new car thinks it's out of gas if the gas gauge gets to three bars (yeah, the one replacing the one they couldn't afford either). She said she called the dealer and he told her this basic information about her car which she should have read in the manual when they bought it. She told him, "That's just stupid" (which, I admit, it is) and then called The Husband to bring her some gas.

Apparently having gas in the tank didn't help her get to work on time today.

Sweet Jesus, she is fucking ON FIRE today!

This day will never end. The wedgies, the phone calls, the chaos. Apparently if Bleh misses a day, she makes up for her lost shenanigans big time.

Now Bleh is talking about MaryKay or some shit to a colleague. Apparently The Husband doesn't want Bleh to wear makeup and didn't want her to go to the MK party another colleague hosted last weekend to spend his money on expensive lipstick or whatever. Of course The Husband gets to dictate what she puts on her face. How could he not? The man can't even be bothered to make his own phone calls.

How do I know all this? Because Bleh has said the same sentence five times. "[The Husband] doesn't want me to wear makeup and he didn't want me to go to the MK party last weekend." Oh whahhh. Pay attention to me....

Stop talking. Stop talking now.

Now Bleh's on the phone with some lady at Kohl's asking about shoes for her son. Yep, that's somethin' we do in this office...call people about shoes. Not.

You nosy little priss!

I just got a phone call from another colleague asking for a solution to a minor problem. I gave my advice and that was that. Short and sweet. Bleh, realizing that something was happening without her (gasp!), yelled across the room, "What's going on?" after I hung up.

I guess since Bleh thinks it's standard protocol to discuss anything and everything on the phone, she probably doesn't understand when someone has a conversation that doesn't give away the cow for free.

By the way, I told her it was none of her business and started typing this entry. Burn!

Those poor pants

If her wedgie were any higher today, it'd poke through her guts and out her belly button. Yikes. To make things worse, this particular pair of pants has tapered legs. Yay. The eye immediately is drawn to her overemphasized pants-suctioning ass. I should get hazard pay for this.

Oh what a beautiful mornin'....

Oh, what a beautiful day! I got an absent colleague...everything's goin' my way...

Yep, Bleh is out of the office today. All day long! I plan to savor every peaceful minute.

Boo-hoo

Bleh emailed me this morning to say she wasn't feeling well, but that she'd come in to work anyway and she'd arrive at 8:45.

Well guess what? It's 8:45 and there's no Bleh. Guess she'll show up around 9:04 or something, you know, to keep with her habit of being 19 minutes late for everything.

UPDATE: She strolled in at 8:54, then took off to get coffee. She probably won't be back for a while. Damn, and I was hoping she'd just stay home today!