Bleh's pants are ridin' up both sides today. Her camel toe is out and proud and told me that Spring will come 6 weeks early this year.
Ugh. Shudder.
1.10.2012
The First Camel Toe of Spring
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her many personal, social and professional missteps
Who am I?
I'm a typical office worker in a typical 8-5 office. I'm a pretty tolerant person, except when it comes to invasive, annoying people. For some reason the gods have stuck me with Bleh for 40 hours a week. She thinks the world exists to listen to her and validate her boring, and usually poor, life choices.
Who is Bleh? And why can't I stand her?
She's my very annoying coworker. She previously worked from home so she has no social or personal skills for a real-world office. She thinks EVERYTHING is about HER.
She takes being a busybody to the level of extreme sport. Any private conversation within 30 feet is hers to butt into.
Her husband has a job that doesn't require regular hours, yet he thinks she can blow off her job to schlep the kids around to soccer & ballet practice, make personal calls for him, and take assignments from the boss of her other job (a part-time gig) while she's at this office.
She's one of those people who has to have attention no matter what: good or bad. This means everyone within earshot gets to hear all about her poor personal financial choices (and resulting problems), fights with her husband over the phone, her health, and the junk-ass boat they bought last year and how they go "sailing" in it. Oh, and now there's a plane in the picture; that is, if The Husband can learn to fly it.
I can't help knowing all this crap because she NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT IT.
Unfortunately, our mutual supervisor is afraid of conflict and won't give Bleh boundaries. This blog is my one and only release since I'm unable to put a soundproof wall or another continent between Bleh and myself. Or shoot her out an airlock.
She takes being a busybody to the level of extreme sport. Any private conversation within 30 feet is hers to butt into.
Her husband has a job that doesn't require regular hours, yet he thinks she can blow off her job to schlep the kids around to soccer & ballet practice, make personal calls for him, and take assignments from the boss of her other job (a part-time gig) while she's at this office.
She's one of those people who has to have attention no matter what: good or bad. This means everyone within earshot gets to hear all about her poor personal financial choices (and resulting problems), fights with her husband over the phone, her health, and the junk-ass boat they bought last year and how they go "sailing" in it. Oh, and now there's a plane in the picture; that is, if The Husband can learn to fly it.
I can't help knowing all this crap because she NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT IT.
Unfortunately, our mutual supervisor is afraid of conflict and won't give Bleh boundaries. This blog is my one and only release since I'm unable to put a soundproof wall or another continent between Bleh and myself. Or shoot her out an airlock.
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2 comments:
Do I understand you correctly that Bleh has *BOTH* unfortunate conditions: 1. camel toe (in the front) 2. wedgie (in the back)? Wow. I'm trying to visualize that and it's horrifying. I imagine Bleh would be sooooooo uncomfortable in those too tight pants all day. Sitting must be true torture for her. And then there's the problem that too tight pants often present - chronic vaginal yeast infections. Bleh is a mess! Let me guess . . . the pants involved are always polyester, right? After five years, do you think Bleh knows you write a blog about her? I think it's time you turned it into a movie (seriously) You got the name "The Chronicles of Bleh" and all the material. Go for it!
What the hell is this post about I don't even know...
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