Yes, Bleh is wearing her most ill-fitting pants today, a pair of khaki capris. Not only does she have a painfully high wedgie, but she's sporting a full-on camel toe up front. She came over to my desk to ask about a report earlier, and I had trouble concentrating; the camel toe was so disgusting.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
her many personal, social and professional missteps
Who am I?
I'm a typical office worker in a typical 8-5 office. I'm a pretty tolerant person, except when it comes to invasive, annoying people. For some reason the gods have stuck me with Bleh for 40 hours a week. She thinks the world exists to listen to her and validate her boring, and usually poor, life choices.
Who is Bleh? And why can't I stand her?
She's my very annoying coworker. She previously worked from home so she has no social or personal skills for a real-world office. She thinks EVERYTHING is about HER.
She takes being a busybody to the level of extreme sport. Any private conversation within 30 feet is hers to butt into.
Her husband has a job that doesn't require regular hours, yet he thinks she can blow off her job to schlep the kids around to soccer & ballet practice, make personal calls for him, and take assignments from the boss of her other job (a part-time gig) while she's at this office.
She's one of those people who has to have attention no matter what: good or bad. This means everyone within earshot gets to hear all about her poor personal financial choices (and resulting problems), fights with her husband over the phone, her health, and the junk-ass boat they bought last year and how they go "sailing" in it. Oh, and now there's a plane in the picture; that is, if The Husband can learn to fly it.
I can't help knowing all this crap because she NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT IT.
Unfortunately, our mutual supervisor is afraid of conflict and won't give Bleh boundaries. This blog is my one and only release since I'm unable to put a soundproof wall or another continent between Bleh and myself. Or shoot her out an airlock.
She takes being a busybody to the level of extreme sport. Any private conversation within 30 feet is hers to butt into.
Her husband has a job that doesn't require regular hours, yet he thinks she can blow off her job to schlep the kids around to soccer & ballet practice, make personal calls for him, and take assignments from the boss of her other job (a part-time gig) while she's at this office.
She's one of those people who has to have attention no matter what: good or bad. This means everyone within earshot gets to hear all about her poor personal financial choices (and resulting problems), fights with her husband over the phone, her health, and the junk-ass boat they bought last year and how they go "sailing" in it. Oh, and now there's a plane in the picture; that is, if The Husband can learn to fly it.
I can't help knowing all this crap because she NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT IT.
Unfortunately, our mutual supervisor is afraid of conflict and won't give Bleh boundaries. This blog is my one and only release since I'm unable to put a soundproof wall or another continent between Bleh and myself. Or shoot her out an airlock.
Schadenfreude Fans
Archive
Labels
- "Mommie" (4)
- "smart" ideas (9)
- "working" (50)
- appearance (5)
- ballerina shit (11)
- ballet shoes (3)
- bathroom (1)
- bitchiness (7)
- Bleh's other job (14)
- boozing (1)
- camel toes (3)
- cars (8)
- cheap (2)
- coffee (3)
- conspicuous-consumption (1)
- crazy (5)
- delusions (10)
- diarrhea (2)
- disappearance (1)
- doctor (13)
- emails (3)
- excuses (2)
- fake (15)
- farm animals (7)
- fashion (16)
- finally some action (1)
- food (4)
- goats (1)
- gross (6)
- haircuts (2)
- handwashing (8)
- haters (1)
- hay (1)
- health (15)
- helicoptering (10)
- hilarious (4)
- horses (1)
- in-office babysitting (27)
- incompetence (6)
- ingratitude (2)
- interruptions (21)
- karma (5)
- kissing-up (7)
- laugh (3)
- laundry list (5)
- light at end of tunnel (8)
- loans (2)
- Mini-Bleh (18)
- Mommie (1)
- money (17)
- music (1)
- neediness (16)
- nosiness (13)
- not-too-bright moments (6)
- one day change gonna come (14)
- parenting (12)
- Perky (1)
- phone calls (107)
- quiet (14)
- reader response (4)
- relief (6)
- rude (10)
- selling crap (2)
- shopping (3)
- sick (10)
- smart ideas (1)
- socializing (6)
- special hours (15)
- sulking (2)
- swimming (5)
- tardiness (39)
- television (1)
- texting (4)
- that awful laugh (1)
- the boat (7)
- the diet (6)
- the husband (60)
- the kids (65)
- the mother-in-law (3)
- the plane (3)
- the prom (1)
- the supervisor (3)
- time management (8)
- TMI (9)
- two-faced (8)
- vacation (8)
- voice (11)
- voice lessons (1)
- wedgies (32)
- weird walk (3)
- whispering (4)
- yapping (31)
- zen (6)
6 comments:
I know I've not commented as of yet but I have been reading about Bleh for some time now. As much as it must be excruciating for you, it's very entertaining from over here. Any chance of a sneaky pic?? ;)
Me and my other work collegue have a office BLEH as well.... we call him the SENIOR. Simply because he is better then everyone else, apparently smarter.
His social interactions with other people leaves someone to question his mental status.....
We do alot of things to stir him up, but its suttle things which he really cant get us in trouble for.
Me and John will keep you informd of our OC!
We need one of these to counter act our office Cu*t
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCToPp1kaug
Which is worse? The annoying office colleague, or you lot- who cant find a civilised way to say what you think face to face. Stop bitchin & get a life!
Please keep bitchin and do it soon. I'm going through bleh withdrawal!
I am truly fascinated and addicted by your blog!!
It's kind of unsettling that you're obsessing over your colleague's cameltoe.
I like reading about Bleh. I work with a couple of Blehs. They have driven me absolutely nuts in the past by listening in to all my phone calls and then commenting on them when I hang up. They also think because they are older they can act like "wise sages" and counsel me on how to do my job. If there is ever any lifting of boxes or lifting a finger around the office - they aren't going to do it. They are lazy - big time. I'm sorry you have to suffer with Bleh, but believe me . . . you're not alone. Thanks for the good reading material.
Post a Comment